The Updates

Although I decided to take control a few days ago and really get the ball rolling, I did crappy anyway... so sad.

As of today, Devonn decided to jump on the bandwagon too, yay! It is so much easier when your spouse is in the trenches with you! It sucks that we can't workout together (stinking kids...) but it's awesome that we can support each other.

So, my uterus is still jacked. I ended up canceling my last appointment which was dumb. My next appointment is December 20th. I think he'll probably schedule the surgery at that point... only problem is that I cannot miss any school and recovery will take AT LEAST 2 weeks (though they tell you six)... so scheduling it will be difficult unless he can get me in SUPER fast. My uterus is currently stuck to other organs with scar tissue so any brisk movement causes it to pull and tug (and possibly rip?) and bleed... it's a mess and it makes exercising dangerous... Doesn't mean I won't do it... just means I'll suffer a bit and that I'll have to be careful not to overdo it. The crappy internal organ situation means that my diet is SUPER important to my weight loss/fitness goals.

In terms of school, once that starts, things will get CRAZY. So I will have to have extra dance parties with Lexi in the early mornings and maybe some race-the-clock/marathon cleaning sprees to get my heart rate pumping. Because my time will be filled to the brim with school, homework, commuting, chores/mommy stuff, and because I do still want to connect with the kids and show them some undivided attention, I will just have to be creative with my workouts. :)

But anyway, onward!

Super Fast

Lexi slept in really late because she didn't have a nap yesterday and is just now starting to whine in her crib so this has to be super fast...

Today is the day that I take control and get back into shape. I need to post all about my medical issues (that are worse than ever) and how exercising with full time school and a terrible two-year old REALLY is hard. I also need to catch up on a few other things but for now, I am back in the saddle again...

Searing Pain

Well ladies and gents (really just ladies...) I'm having extreme female issues again. Right now I have a cyst that hurts worse than any I have ever had. It's 3:30 am and I have taken medicine but the pain is so bad I can't sleep. I was torn about getting a hysterectomy but now I am not. Now I can't wait!

The earliest my Dr. could get me in is August 3rd with the nurse practitioner. I would prefer to see Dr. Owens just because of our history together as of late, but I'll take what I can get. My crappy insurance requires prior authorization for an ultrasound so she'll have to request that then I'll have to come back and then we'll go from there. They'll want me on hormones to shrink the cyst(s) which I hate, but I guess whatever gets rid of it/them. How's that for my first post in a long time? Nice and whiny.

LAZY!

I have been so freaking lazy in terms of diet and exercise and I have been going over my calories every day (not that I've been tracking them). I am part of a Facebook group ran by a church friend (so is Devonn and several other people) I can invite whomever if anyone is interested. Kate Geiger (formerly Ramirez) is heading it up. Basically she's keeping weekly results and we're trying to keep each other motivated. It's like a Biggest Loser competition with no strings attached- no money to pay, etc. Our initial weigh in was last Friday and our first results oriented weigh in is tomorrow. Despite having this group, I'm still totally unmotivated. 

I think it's just because I've just been so tired. And I've been so tired because I stay up until midnight then toss and turn until 1am then I'm up around 8am (Bless Lexi's little heart that she has decided to start sleeping in during the summer). And I have always been one of those people that needs at least 8 hours a day. So basically, I've been irresponsible with my sleep.

I do get a little burst of energy around 3pm where I could ride the bike while I watch Dr. Phil but it hasn't been working out that way in terms of a schedule. Monday we were doing something (can't remember what), Tuesday was Disneyland (yay!), Wednesday we were at the in-laws working on Ma's car, and today I was cooking for some friends who just had a beautiful baby girl!

I need to get way better about everything and stop being so lazy. I need to make an exercise schedule and keep all the unhealthy crap out of our house. Knowing that I'm probably at like 195 and that I'm having such lazy issues and since school is starting for me on the 26th, I think my new Catalina goal will be to be in the 180's-totally doable. A longer term goal will be to be in the 170's when I start my Fall classes in September. (Also totally doable).


Okay, I'm rambling to the point that even my mind is wandering. Over and out-

Post Op

I had my post op appointment today. Before going I prayed that my doctor and I would make the best decision for me right now. We decided to watchfully wait. I am going off birth control because I HATE it and to see what happens with my ovaries when I do. We are going to see how my uterus continues to respond to the surgery and decide a course of action if I continue to have pain. Dr. Owens is fabulous and I feel completely happy with this :) (it helps that the cramping has been much, much better the past couple of days and I was having second thoughts about lobbying for a hysterectomy).

He showed me the photos from the surgery... holy cow. My scar tissue was gnarly.

In weight loss/fitness news: I have been maintaining weight, but I have been eating REALLY, REALLY crappy food. I'm betting my cholesterol is off the charts. Now that I can exercise again (including lifting heavy stuff at the grocery store), I'm back on the wagon... I am not nearly as motivated lately (what's wrong with me?) so I'm hoping I'll keep it up.

Well, I'm SO tired and I have a laundry pile that is a few inches taller than me... no joke- so I think I'll go try to tackle that while Devonn works on an assignment.

Surgery and Latest Updates

I had my surgery on Tuesday and it was a success in that I woke up from the anesthesia ;) We expected to find some scar tissue and adhesion's, along with some cysts and a tumor or two. Well, when he got in there, he was very disturbed to find that my uterus was COMPLETELY covered in scar tissue to the point that it had totally adhered to other internal organs such as my bowels, etc. It was so stuck that it couldn't move at all. NO WONDER! No wonder I had CONSTANT cramping and pain, no wonder I couldn't exercise without extreme cramping, no wonder I couldn't differentiate poop cramps with uterine cramps sometimes. ;) Just saying.

Anyway, he was able to cut it away from other internal organs to give it some mobility but there is still so much scar tissue that a hysterectomy is in the future. If I take it easy with this recovery and don't cause it to build more scar tissue and re-adhere to my internal organs, there is a chance that we can prolong the hysterectomy which is good considering surgeries SUCK. All my other parts looked good. The tumor hasn't grown, the ovarian cysts were gone (they always are in the first half of my cycle). I go back in two weeks to discuss things with him. (Such as how much I hate birth control, etc).

I always say it, but it's so true: I have the best family in the world. While I am recovering, Blaine and Carrin are watching Lexi for me because Devonn and the boys are on their manly camping trip. I am feeling okay right now thanks to anti-nausea medication and a pretty good thresh hold for pain. The pain felt like a c-section at first, without the giant incision. Now the pain is there but it is much better. I stopped taking the pain meds because I'm weird and kind of anti-medication... I have this irrational fear that taking too many will lead me to be less responsive to them in the future, plus I know that my body is capable of remarkable things on its own. PLUS, I didn't want to be constipated. I called the Dr. yesterday because I couldn't handle the nausea a second longer and he called in an Rx for Zofran... holy crap that stuff is GOOD. Dissolves on your tongue and voila, no more nausea. I love it. I was finally able to eat as a result of it which totally lifted my spirits and gave me some energy.


Anyway, that's that. He told me if I wanted to heal this time I needed to heed his warnings and REST for two weeks, just laying around. Sounds fun, huh? It's totally not though. It's boring and I miss being a mommy.


Oh, as far as weight loss, I'm still at 192- wtf? Even with barely sipping a tiny bit of soup and a tiny bit of applesauce over the course of three days, I'm still 192. Dumb.

Back on Track

After slacking off for a few weeks and gaining a few pounds (I was up to 195), I am back on track as of today. My pre-op for surgery is tomorrow and then my actual surgery is on the 22nd (I am PRAYING that he will find something and come up with solutions). I am not going to let this crazy pains/cysts/tumor/who knows what else stand in my way though. I am in control, not these dumb medical issues. I wonder if these stupid problems are caused by fatness. Can't wait until I'm skinny to find out.

So I had fallen into to all kinds of bad habits- funny how quickly that happens, huh? I consumed WAY more soda than water, wasn't counting calories, was eating sweets and crap again, and wasn't exercising. That all ends now.

I am upset at the thought that I might not be able to take James on the zipline. I need to be between 170 and 180 to do it- probably closer to 170 because he might gain a pound or two by then, plus we'll have shoes and be fully clothed. We have 11 weeks until we go. I'm 195 right now (I think). If I lose 2 lbs/week, then I will have lost 22 lbs and be 173. That would be alright but with surgery and all the unknowns, I just don't know if that's a super attainable goal right now. I am going to try my very hardest though. I will see where I am at in a month and if I have lost an okay amount, then I will go ahead and book the excursion. I think it would be a perfect 8th birthday gift for James!

Okay, I exercised for 30 minutes today but I think I'll go do it again because I was over my calories.

Hovering

I've been hovering around 192 because I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to do. I had a super busy couple of weeks and now that things are easing up, my cramping is getting WAY WORSE. It feels so much like contractions, that it's insane. My pre-op is the 18th and my surgery is the 22nd. I am praying that he finds out what is wrong, cause I can't exercise or enjoy life much while I'm doubled over. Ugh.

So while I can't necessarily control how much exercise I can do at the moment, I CAN control what I eat and though I've been eating small portions, I've fallen into some old bad habits over the past week. That ends now. Well, time to study a bit for my Anthro final and chill with Devonn. :)

So Happy!

This is a weird new blogger layout. I'm not sure I love it...

But anyway, I am pretty pleased about the 192.2 weigh in. We have 3 months until Catalina. If I lost 5lbs a month then I would be 177.2 (a 15-lb loss). And technically, we actually have 15 weeks left and if I kept up with the 2-lbs per week that I've been averaging (for 12 weeks now), I would lose 30-lbs which would put me at 162.2. And that would be so AWESOME!


The past week or so the dieting has been a breeze. I just haven't been overly hungry. I have been eating what I want (french toast, a burger, etc) but utilizing extreme moderation and portion control. I have not, however, been exercising so I know I'm just losing muscle mass. After this week, when the stress calms down, I really need to start exercising again.


I want to brag ALL ABOUT how much I ROCKED my Anthropology presentation. And how the professor kept me after class to shower me in praises, but I get the feeling people might be sick of hearing me brag. And at any rate, I'm TIRED!

One More Day!

Only one more day of having my brother's kids here. I take them to my parents' house tomorrow morning. Thank goodness too because I've almost had several mental breakdowns. I will leave it at that lest I say something I regret posting for the world to see.

The last Biggest Loser weigh in is today. I weighed in this morning and had lost almost 3 lbs! But not quite so I'm waiting a few hours before attempting to weigh in again in hopes of hitting the -3 lb mark. In the meantime, I'm not eating or drinking anything so it's rough! I'm so stinking thirsty.

I am not participating in this next round because my procedure is scheduled for that time and because you just never know what he'll find and what my recovery time will actually be. I am SO SCARED though, that I will lose my motivation now that I'm not accountable to a partner and reporting it to someone else every week. I really want to continue on this downward trend, I am hopeful that once the stressful things with school are over this week, I can start spending more time on myfitnesspal, preparing healthy meals, and working out.

Lexi is awake and I need to fix her oatmeal and get it cooling before I get her up, but I just wanted to give a shout out to my husband, (WARNING: mushy part to follow) Dear Devonn: You are amazing! Your patience, consistency, selfless service, and love for others AMAZES me. I love that you love me so much that you do everything to make me happy. You are a gem and I don't know how I got you. Thank you times infinity. And I LOVE you!!

UPDATE: I weighed in and was 192.2!! Exactly 4 lbs lost for the week! I'll post another post with all the new totals and thoughts later. :)

Weigh In: Yay!

I was pretty much a pig this last week too (and I didn't exercise because the cramping just would not let me- plus I was ridiculously busy). But I lost all the weight I gained over the prior week and a little more. I lost a total of 4lbs this last week. Yay! I think this upcoming week might be the last week of the competition (have to check though), I am planning on bringing my A-game. I know there is no chance of winning the overall, but I REALLY just want to lose weight...badly.

On the schedule for this week: finish preparing two presentations (Anthropology and Public Speaking), PRACTICE them 1 million times each, do all the discussions for my History class, start the fat Anthropology assignment, have scouts, clean the house, take care of my parents' animals while they're away, take Lexi to the Dr, go to a Mother-Son activity at Thorner, meet with the Bishop on Sunday, and watch my brother's kids from Friday-Tuesday. Also, trying not to go crazy is on the agenda...

Procedure Scheduled

My laporoscopy is scheduled for May 22nd. He and I both wanted to do it sooner but I had to wait until after May 10th and he is going to be out of town for the two weeks around then. So, here's praying it is a good time to find something!! My cramps have basically been killing me. And when I get up to quickly, I can feel pain in my left ovary. My hormones must be out of whack still also (caused by polycystic ovaries) cause I'm still a beast as far as hair goes, but, it does seem as though the acne has gotten a smidge better.

So the pain has totally stripped me of any motivation to exercise. I need to just do it and push through it anyway though. I know I would feel great afterwards because as my muscles heat up, usually cramping subsides.

Also, the skeletal exam for my Anthropology class, I aced it. It was an extra credit test and he promised everyone who got 100% that he would raise their letter grade one full grade in the class. Yata. He also promised everyone that if they go into the final with an A, it won't count against them. Yay! Still have a TON to do for that class though :(

School, etc.

This fits in the category of mental health so it can go on the fitness blog:

I have 5 weeks of school left.

In Anthropology:
Skeletal Exam
Write a paper
Prepare a Power Point
Give presentation
Do assignment #2 (it's a doozy)
Take Final

In Communication:
Prepare last speech (in steps that she gives us)
Give last speech
Prepare award and speech for classmate

Hist B4A:
3 Disussions (at least 5 posts for each)
1 essay assignment (5 essays)

Hist B4B:
1 Discussions (at least 5 posts for each)
1 essay assigment (5 essays)

It all really sucks but there is an end in sight. I am most stressed about all my Anthropology stuff and just finding the time to do everything. But, 5 weeks until summer!!! Also, my brother works one week on and one week off out of town (in the oilfields). Today he was awarded full custody of his three sons. I volunteered to watch them in the summer while he's working because my parents are too old and decrepit to do it and he doesn't have anyone else. I have a sinking feeling that I will be certifiably insane by the end of summer.

*Update: I will NOT be watching my nephews. I gave it a lot of thought and realized that I would NOT be able to handle it and it wouldn't be fair to my own children if I couldn't give them the attention they need.

Super Fast Not Great News

We essentially celebrated my birthday for a week. I am very, very disappointed in myself and the poor choices I made while we were on vacation... I totally ate like a pig and lazed about and I gained...a lot. Like, I am no longer in Onderland :( I am sad and angry with myself for doing that. I worked so hard to get my weight down to where it was and I totally erased like 3 weeks worth of progress by being a glutton. Well, lesson learned and I WON'T be doing that again.

Other news: I had my follow up ob/gyn appointment. Just to recap, several months ago I went to the Dr. for persistent cramping and spotting and they discovered a very large cyst so they put me on birth control to shrink it. Well, the pain got worse since then. Like way worse- think labor pains. And I cramp like 3 weeks out of the month. So today they discovered that I have polycystic ovaries. I have like 8 cysts in my left ovary and 2 or 3 in my right. My tumor has not grown though. The Dr. says that the cysts shouldn't be causing the type of pain I'm experiencing so he wants to do a laparoscopic scope to see what is going on in there and while he's doing that, he'll drain/remove any cysts. He said that there could be any number of issues going on including endometriosis, scar tissue, my uterine muscle growing through the uterine wall into other areas (forgot the medical term he told me...) He is hesitant to do a hysterectomy at my young age due to the risks and long term ramifications but before we really decide a course of action, he wants to see what we're up against.

I am so grateful to have the Dr. that I do- he is fabulous!

Onederland!

Despite the bad week last week, I still managed to lose 2.4 lbs. I think I will attribute it to my chili verde burrito with rice and beans from La Tapatia. I think I just confused the heck out of my body with the calorie yo-yo from day to day? Who knows. All I know is that I am now under 200 lbs and I don't plan on EVER seeing that number again!! I can't wait until I'm WAY under that number but I am ecstatic with my progress thus far. I pretty much have been able to maintain a 2 pound weight loss each week (with the exception of a couple weeks) and it makes me happy. :)

Okay, even though I want to blabber on an on about goals and junk, the baby beckons...

Bad Week

This hasn't been the best dieting week and I have not exercised at all. And right now I want chocolate and pastries SO FREAKING BAD. Gotta love periods, huh? Must. Resist. Temptation. I've tried all the little tricks to stop the cravings but they are not working today. Ughh.

Devonn plateaued this week so our weigh in is going to be pathetic. :(

Updates.

So my initial weigh in for Biggest Loser was 205.6 because I weighed myself with a full bladder in the evening, heh. I know everyone else did the same and I feel no guilt. Last Monday was our week 1 weigh in, I was at 202.2. I'm excited because either this week or next, I will be under 200 (forever!) So Devonn and I were pretty much middle of the pack in terms of the competition but the people who did better than us are brand new in their weight loss journey, so naturally they are going to lose more at first.

I have been right around my calories each day, but I REALLY need to start exercising again. It has been way too long since I even attempted any exercise and it is because I was writing a series of essays for my two online classes (10 total), then studying for a midterm, then doing two quizzes that were huge, then participating in forum discussions that never end, and preparing a substantial presentation (that I will finally be giving today). The workload really isn't going to improve too much for the next 7 weeks so I really just need to make the time for exercise.

Anyway, Lexi is tearing up the office while I type so that is it for the update.

Tomorrow is the Day!!

Biggest Loser round 2 starts tomorrow and my awesome husband is my partner, yay! I can't wait to see how many couples we end up having. Hopefully a lot and hopefully Devonn and I win. ;) I recruited 2 couples that are definitely doing it, 1 couple that is considering it still, and I invited Emilee (my hot S-I-L, for any newer readers). Without the Emilee and the couple considering it, my best guess would be that we have at least 11 couples competing. Which means the payout will be at least $550! Devonn and I would really enjoy that! (Or we might really pay bills with it...)

I feel gluttonous because I did NOT count calories this weekend and I did not refrain from eating what I wanted, including ice cream and banana pudding from Golden Corral, and Chili Verde burritos, etc from La Tapatia, not to mention the egg roll from Jack in the Box and the numerous diet sodas. I kind of did it to gain or maintain since Friday to get an edge in the competition, but as of this morning it didn't work- I was still lighter than Friday. We'll see what tomorrow brings though!

Before I go, does this time change irritate anyone else? I kind of hate it. Losing an hour of sleep, not being tired until super late...ugh. The kids couldn't fall asleep until forever, despite not napping today. Tomorrow is going to be rough!

Conclusion of Biggest Loser Round 1

My final weigh in was 205.0- a 2.2 lb loss for the week and 17.6- pound loss for the Biggest Loser duration. My overall loss since I started taking care of myself (a couple weeks before the start of Biggest Loser) is 19.8 lbs! That is a good number and it makes me happy! This past week I have gotten compliments on how my face looks thinner and it's awesome. The most awesome thing though is that diet Pepsi's don't taste as good as they used to and that I don't have these intense cravings for junk anymore. I am so excited to continue this weight loss journey. I am excited to think that when I start at Cal State, I will be thinner- they will never know the blubbery, bloated 225 lb Carla. I feel like this weight loss has instilled some confidence in me and I like it. I can't imagine the confidence I'll have when I'm at a healthy weight. It is going to be awesome!

Things I need to work on: EATING enough calories! Varying my exercise routine. Increasing water consumption a bit more. Getting more sleep! I am pretty well tired every day and I know it's mostly due to a lack of sleep and the lack of calories probably don't help much either.

Okay, my baby monster needs my attention right now but before I go, I want to leave you with pictures of my hair cut! I think the stylist did a great job. It's a totally different color but I like it. I went in there telling her I wanted layers and shoulder length and she talked me out of going shoulder length- thank goodness. She thinned it out and added lovely layers and it feels so nice. I hate self portraits and I totally couldn't get a clear one of the back of my hair so the second one is nerdy, but I can tell that my face does indeed look thinner. Yay!

CRISIS

Sunday afternoon I weighed in at 205. This morning, I weighed in at 206. I know a 1 pound difference isn't anything to get all worked up about, BUT, I see the same trend as last week- light in the beginning of the week, heavier towards the end. So someone please tell me what is going on and how to stop this. Please? I'm adding a synopsis of my calories so you can tell me if that's what you think it is.

On Saturday I ate 1,172 and burned off 274 through exercise. Sunday I ate 875 calories (it was fast Sunday so it couldn't be helped...). On Monday, yesterday, I ate 1,035 calories and burned off 274 through exercise. Hmm... I think I'm noticing a trend. Perhaps I'm really just not eating enough? I have calorie issues. :( The difficult thing for me is finding a balance between healthy food and calories... I can eat tons of fruits and veggies all day long but they're so low in calories, it won't put me at 1200. Conversely, I can eat other things, but they're too high in sodium or cholesterol or too high in calories. I'm mental.

30 Day Shred Concerns

When browsing My Fitness Pal, I was looking at the success stories (my favorite thing to do...totally motivating!) and specifically, I was looking at the 30 Day Shred results. These people are BEAUTIFUL at the end, you can totally see a difference and it's fabulous. BUT, none of them lose very much weight at all. Tons of inches and they're all toned and hot, but just not many pounds. This is a problem in a weight loss competition. So, I'm probably going to have to shelve Jillian for the next 12.5 weeks. :(

I know that being lean and strong and toned are the most important, but I also know that being in a weight loss competition will keep me more motivated than anything else because I'm competitive and because I don't want to part with money.

So for the duration of the contests, I'll work on being a skinny fat girl and stick with copious cardio. But at the beginning of June when the contests end, I plan on working hard to tone up. I would have time for two 30DS completions if I were inclined. :)

PS- Read my last posts if you haven't :)

Biggest Loser Last Week

Please see my last post too.

Rachel and I got first place for the week because she did an awesome job. We are now in second place overall. Our percent lost is 5.21% and the first place is 8.31% I want to win BADLY. So no soda for me this week, super low sodium, increasing my fiber even more, tons of water, plentiful rest, making sure to eat my 1200 calories, and exercising every single day no matter how busy I am. Also, making sure to remember my pill at the same exact time every night. I'm hoping to get a haircut this week (not that it will help, lol). I'm weighing in as early as I can on Friday morning and when I go to do it, I'm dressing as skimpy as I can legally and morally manage. Including free-boobing it, lol. I'll probably freeze but oh well.

Even if we don't win, I will have lost a good deal of weight in these 6 weeks and that makes me HAPPY! I'm totally on the road to good health and I love it!

1 More Week to Go

I am disappointed in my weight this week. I weighed in at 207.2 which is a 1.8 lb loss. But, at the beginning of the week I was down to 206.8 (or somewhere thereabout). Why did I gain? Maybe because I ate less than 1200 calories the last couple days, maybe because my water consumption wasn't quite good enough, or maybe because I'm having female issues... spotted and cramped the entire week and started back on regular/non-placebo pills. It could also have to do with the fact that for legitimate exercise, I only did it once- 30 minutes on the bike last night. I did HEAVILY clean the house Wednesday night (like insanely). But every single other day, I had something going on for school/scouts. I wouldn't normally be so hard on myself, but this is a competition after all. My partner did really well this week though, so hopefully that bumps us up a spot.

Our final weigh in for this round is on Friday. Both my partner and I are determined to bring some big numbers to the table. I will attempt to get all my assignments for the week done tonight and tomorrow so I can just focus on exercise. I will work out every single day for a minimum of 20 minutes, I will do my best to get more sleep, I will consume at least 4 bottles of water daily, I will eat at least 1200 calories/day and I will do my best to eat back at least half my exercise calories maybe?

Any tips for quick weight loss? (You know, besides ex-lax, lol). I was thinking of trying freezing showers in the morning and ICE cold water to boost metabolism...

Typing With a Baby Monster On My Lap.

Check out these before and after tummy tuck pictures. I am absolutely getting one when I've maintained a healthy weight and lifestyle for a good length of time. My skin is super saggy and sick. I know that it will NOT snap back into place. And I know that increased weight loss will further exacerbate the ickiness. I'll never be showing off my tummy and I'll always have stretch marks, but dang, imagine the cute outfits you can wear with a flat tummy.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/491755-had-my-tummy-tuck-the-right-choice-for-me-3

Also, I've long suspected that my scale weighs way lighter than reality so I finally had the bright idea to test it with weights. On an 8 pound weight it was 0.2 lbs lighter, on 16 lbs, it was 0.8 lbs lighter...I think further investigation is warranted.

Weekly Report

This crazy little girl of mine doesn't let me get ANYTHING done at all. My house is a total disaster and I'm behind on homework like a ton. I'm exhausted by the whining and brattiness she exhibits with only me (well, sometimes for Devonn). ANYWAY, most of that would be better on the family blog, but, my point is, at the end of the day, I can choose to do the homework that I need to do, some housework that is equally desperately needed, steal a few minutes with my husband, or workout. I'm having total trouble finding balance lately. Just a week or two ago I felt on top of the world. Now, not so much. But, I can't complain because I brought all of this on myself. :/

Anyway, I worked out like 4 evenings this week and it was nice. I did 30DS on Wednesday night and I'm still reeling. Sore quads mostly, but a mildly sore chest and abs as well. Last night Devonn had already prepared his lesson and wanted to hang out so we watched Desperate Housewives (missed it on Sunday cause we watched The Walking Dead instead). So while we watched, I rode the stationary bike for 30 minutes. Afterwards I took a shower and Devonn gave me a massage- it was like the best massage EVER. He is the BEST man!

I weighed in this morning... 209.0- a 3 pound loss! I thought it might be more because I've been at 209 for a couple days actually, but it's all good. 2 pounds was my goal so 3 is great! This brings my Biggest Loser weight loss to 13.6 lbs and my overall loss to 15.8 lbs. Not too shabby at all.

A Quick Link for Devonn

Here is a quick link I want to be sure to share with Devonn when he starts Biggest Loser with me. It's all sort of common knowledge, but I wanted to make sure he knows that it's okay to eat after 8pm ;)

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/10-weight-loss-myths-facts-203000404.html

30 Day Shred

This has to be QUICK because I need to shower and do loads of homework before I go to bed and it's already late for an old lady...

I just completed 30 Day Shred. I am totally WEAK. I had to stop about half to 75% of the way through everything and then start back during the next set. And still, even with the weenyness I exhibited, I'm sitting here shaking and sweating buckets. I decided that I won't be ready for level 2 until I can do all the jumping jacks--wish me luck. I plan on doing 30DS 3 days/week and the stationary bike or some other cardio 2 days.

So, wanna hear something sad? A couple days ago I discovered that I cannot do a sit up anymore at all. :( Hopefully after all the ab workouts in 30DS I'll be able to again before too long. It's crazy when I realize how very in shape I used to be (like when I was a teenager). I used to be able to do all this stuff with no problem at all, and I looked hot doing it if I do say myself.

Okay, so I have lost just over 2lbs so far this week but I recently started the placebo pills which can sometimes be a fat time for me... my goal is 2 lbs/week; I have been eating healthfully and exercising. I didn't drink NEARLY enough water today though... Anyway, I will happy with a 2 lb loss so hopefully I sustain it.

In the middle of typing this my computer crashed and Devonn distracted me about 2 dozen times with his Guam info and sad Pearl Harbor videos. (He's preparing a lesson and I'm in love with U.S. History so I'm easily distracted) so it's definitely time to get to work. I'll post again Friday after the weigh in maybe.

Should be doing (more) homework...

So I did finish my assignment quickly last night and then I rode the stationary bike for 40 minutes. It was at a low resistance but at a constant speed. I ended up burning like 356 calories :)

This morning I did a tiny bit of lifting (1 set, 10 reps, 8 lb weights of bicep curls, lateral raises, and the tricep one...) I just did it for fun but afterwards my muscles felt so warm and toasty... I loved it! And they are exercises I can do without Little Miss having a total cow. I think I will start lifting more frequently and, of course, more reps than just one. I was reading on some men's fitness site that if you do low impact lifting (such as what I did) then do higher impact cardio immediately afterwards, you will totally benefit from your boost in metabolism for the time immediately following the weight lifting. Thoughts on that, anyone? Is it true? I may not be able to do high impact cardio immediately following if my Lovely Little Lexi is around... Oh and speaking of the weights, I initially lifted one up because I have lost more than 8 pounds and I just wanted to know what 8 pounds felt like... Wow, it was actually a lot to just be carrying around.

Tonight I rode the stationary bike (from now on I'll just refer to it as "the bike"). But I only did 20 minutes while watching The Office with Devonn. I don't know if my muscles were just worn out from yesterday's ride, if it's because I can't mentally keep myself going as well while watching The Office (as opposed to Parenthood), or if it's because Devonn was in there (commenting about how it's hot when chicks work out... TMI?), but I was done with the bike after 20 minutes... DONE!

So, even though I know my weight loss will be dismal tomorrow morning, I'm happy because I feel good! I seem to have lost inches (even though myfitnesspal doesn't have a record of me recording them when I started this junk and I DO NOT remember what they were anyway...) I feel good about other aspects of life too. I have been so blessed to be able to balance all the necessary stuff. I'm earning A's in all of my classes this semester, the house has been livable, the laundry pile kept to a minimum, the kids well taken care of and snuggled all the time. I guess right now I just feel fulfilled and it's a great feeling.

♥

PS- I do feel bad for my Biggest Loser partner- I thought I would be a force to be reckoned with because of my willpower. I totally didn't expect my body to wig out.

PPS- I am still concerned about the birth control- I missed one measly pill and all sorts of hell have broken loose. I hate it, I hate the continued cramping, I hate it all... Are there actual women out there with fully functioning reproductive organs until natural menopause? I need to meet one to shake her hand.

Not Thrilled

So according to myfitnesspal and other sites, I should be losing 2.3 pounds per week just by restricting my calories to 1200 a day. I am NOT. I am probably losing like 1/week. It is frustrating to say the least. I do need to do better drinking more water. I was doing GREAT at first but haven't been doing so hot lately... I also know that I should be exercising more, but with a whiny baby and everything else going on in life, there REALLY isn't any time to fit it in. I am going to attempt to do the way too long, tedious homework assignment that is due tomorrow right now, while Devonn is holding Lexi, that way I can go jump on the stationary bike if I finish early enough. Wish me luck with the weigh in this week- I need it!

PS- We went to Disneyland this weekend and while I didn't count calories, I made excellent choices. Last night though, I had to grab dinner on my way home from school and I didn't make the best choices- I ate two regular bean burritos. It could have been worse but I know that they are calorie LADEN.

Weekly Weigh In and Plateaus

I think I finally started to break through my plateau in the last couple days. Unfortunately, it was just too close to weigh in day for Biggest Loser. So I lost 1.6lbs for the week. This past week I wasn't able to exercise nearly enough at all, I was stressed about school, and I didn't drink enough water. For much of it I was eating way too few calories... The couple of days I met or very slightly exceeded my calorie goals, I lost weight-go figure. I have a grip of assignments due on Sunday but after that, this week is easy breezy so I should totally be able to exercise like a maniac.

I found out that James and Andrew could go on the zipline in Catalina as a tandem rider with a family member over 18. Andrew probably wouldn't want to go on it, but it's James's dream. Well, both Devonn and I are way too fat to let him ride with us. The combined weight of the riders fully clothed cannot be more than 240lbs. James is around 60lbs- he might be more than that by the time Catalina comes. At the very most, the adult rider can't exceed 180lbs. With enough diligent work, I feel like I could totally lose 40lbs by the time we go. It would be difficult but not unattainable. A 40lb loss would put me in the low 170's. James could go with me on the zipline and I would be looking and feeling way hotter, plus Devonn would be a happy camper for our anniversary! :)

So I guess that's my next big goal- a 40lb loss by early August. Wish me luck!

PS- Here is a fun video for it:

Plateau?

So I weighed in on Friday morning, but since then, I have gained 0.2lbs. So what the heck is going on? Is it because I haven't been eating the full 1200 calories? Could I be plateauing already?

For the record, Rachel and I did NOT win for the week, despite losing a combined 11lbs. Everyone else brought their A-game I guess. We ended up being 3rd out of 7. I am scared because I'm totally NOT losing right this second. I know I said I would be happy with a 2lb weight loss, but I would rather have it be 3 or 4.

I met my calorie goal today (Actually exceeded it by a tiny bit). I am going to try my best to hit right at my calorie goal. If I go over, I'll exercise those calories off in the evening. I am also going to increase my water a tiny bit and do my best to get more sleep.

Sincerely yours and shaking in my shorts,
Carla

Update!

Check out my sidebar for an updated weight! Also, I posted last night as well, so don't miss it. Well, off to enjoy this beautiful day by going out to buy some cheap produce to shoot. :)

Busy, Busy

I need to be doing homework. I have a speech that I volunteered to give first (cause I'm crazy), I have 10 history essays due on the 11th, and a fat take home quiz due in Anthropology on Tuesday. I also need to get caught up with scouts and plan an activity for them for next week. I should do some laundry before I fall behind and unload and reload the dishwasher. Plus, my fingernails are getting annoyingly long.

BUT, I wanted to post a fitness update first (cause I'm a procrastinator and that's okay!) Anyway, the first weigh in is tomorrow. I'm equal parts excited and nervous. This morning I weighed in and 215.8lbs... a 6.8 pound loss for the week- yata! (remember, it's not a real 6.8lb loss cause the first weigh in was mid morning and clothed). But I'm nervous that tomorrow my weight will be all high. I have not been able to eat 1200 calories at all this past week. Ugh. I didn't exercise at all today cause I was running errands, at school, and celebrating my hunk's birthday! Yesterday I didn't do legitimate exercise but I broke a sweat cleaning... Anyway, I also did not drink enough water today so hopefully I'm not retaining any- bleh. So, wish me luck! Luck that I won't be heavier tomorrow and luck that some other foo didn't lose way more than me (there are men competing in this competition too).

Is it obsessive and weird that I won't even shower tonight because I don't want my skin to hold any water? Also my hair, but that's legitimate. I'm also a weirdo because I'm waiting for a haircut til the last week of biggest loser because I'm hoping it will help me lose half a pound. :)

Frustrating

Lexi has got to be the most clingy, needy baby ever right now. I am hoping it is a phase. I love her and I love that I'm her favorite person at the moment, but sheesh it's frustrating. The only thing she "lets" me do at all is stand to fold laundry on by bed. Unload the dishwasher, spend any time whatsoever on the stationary bike, forget about it. It is getting very difficult to exercise. I am determined though. I guess I'll just have to do all my exercising with her which is going to end up being a lot of bike rides (with her in the trailer) and lots of walks. I need to make a schedule for myself because aside from exercising, I have to do chores, school, homework, kid pick ups and drop offs, cooking, stuff with the boys. And then Devonn is busy ALL the time...

In other, non-complaining news, I think I'm doing well with Biggest Loser. I have been weighing myself frequently and the number seems to be going down. I am scared to death that because I was on the placebo pills and now I'm back on the real deal, that the number won't budge, or worse, go up! I am also concerned because I ate less than 1200 calories yesterday- I am trying not to make a habit of it, but it's tough. I might have to take Emilee's advice about not counting until the afternoon but that's super tough for me...

The Start of Biggest Loser

I weighed in for Biggest Loser yesterday- it was about 9:30am, I hadn't eaten breakfast (shame, shame) and I removed my shoes but was otherwise fully clothed. I weighed 222.6. Last night after I came home from eating pizza and birthday cake, I weighed 220.8- weird. Either I burned some calories (but not THAT many) or the hardwood floors where I weighed in were weird.

Today I have been adhering to a diet very well which isn't hard. I rode my bike from my apartment to the alley off of Auburn Oaks, near Fairfax and back. It was 1.77 miles according to my bicycling app. I thought I was going relatively fast, but apparently not. I guess I was only going around 8.5 mph which only equates to 88 calories burned... what a let down!

I think the challenge for me, as it always is when I count calories and attempt to diet, is eating a full 1200 calories. I tend to get so obsessed with not going over that I eat way less. When I eat less, I plateau and don't lose more than 1 pound, if anything. Okay, off to do homework and maybe plan dinner... I have 704 calories left to eat today.

Exciting News- Really Quick!

I have to go to school in less than 15 minutes but I wanted to post really quick- I will be starting a Biggest Loser- Couples competition tomorrow. My partner is my friend Rachel. I am so excited about this! I feel like this is just the motivation I need to really jump start some weight loss. Originally I set out to just eat healthier (and I have for the last month or so). But now, (at least for the next 6 weeks) the goal will be weight loss AND healthful eating.

My only concern is that the hormones I'm on will prevent me from seeing big numbers each week. In prior weight loss/healthy eating attempts, I saw huge numbers, but with this last bit the numbers have been like 1-2lbs each week. BUT, I wasn't counting calories and all that Jazz. I am going to be diligent and work super hard at dieting and exercising :) Wish us luck!

PS- It was funny, last night I had to clean for several hours and I was so disappointed about burning calories!

PPS- Watch this interesting video:

Updates

I stepped on the scale on Saturday fully clothed and after eating and I had lost another 2 lbs, but my official weigh in day is Tuesday so it doesn't count. I had a piece of very delicious chocolate cake at my grandpa's birthday party on Saturday. No idea how many calories... probably a lot. But, we went on a family bike ride later that afternoon. I put that I went less than 10mph and that we only rode for 15 minutes. Myfitnesspal gave me an estimate of just over 100 calories burned. In reality it was probably longer and for some of it, I definitely rode faster than 10mph. But either way, even if I only burned 100, that compensates a bit for the cake.

In terms of my REAL goal, just being healthier and reducing cholesterol, I have been doing SO much better than I was. I haven't had any red meat (and don't miss it). I haven't had much other meat either. Lots of fruit, veggies, and whole grain. I've been adhering to a Word of Wisdom diet pretty well and it feels good. It is so embarrassing and insane that I used to eat SO much crap. I finally took out the trash in my office the other day (it doesn't fill up too fast) and there was a Twix bag at the bottom. It was sad to think that I ate that entire bag in like 1 or 2 sittings. Plus all the other crap I likely ate that day. This wasn't a rare occurrence either- it happened all the time. Everyday shortly after a big meal or with a diet soda, I would start craving sweets- chocolate specifically so I would give in and eat one or two king size candy bars. What a nasty glutton. Right now I'm still in a vulnerable place when it comes to sweets, I know that if I ate one bite, it would start the cravings and mental obsession with them all over again. I think the cake when we went out didn't do it because I don't have access to it at home and it was a rare treat.

I still am not doing so well with getting to bed on time. There is just so much that ends up getting crammed into my nights because it is the time that the kids (Lexi in particular) are finally out of my hair. It's the time that I can finally sit down and do homework or load the dishwasher without someone getting all the knives out or taking two dishes out to every one that I put in. Plus I like to go to bed with Devonn and student teaching is hell in terms of being on a schedule- it is WAY more work than just preparing and giving lessons, it is also "TPA's," meetings, projects, etc. In the program, they tell you that your student teaching quarter is like boot camp and that you'll have no time for outside interests and little time for family- they weren't lying. Although Devonn refuses to give up time with family so he just goes to bed late...

Anyway, I should take this time to do some more homework... Adios!

PS- My Sister-in-law, Emilee, is HOT and has been such an inspiration to me! Please keep it up (and feel free to keep me accountable) Em!

Less Easy

I kind of ate a lot yesterday- I was just so stinking hungry! It was weird. I still made smart-ish food choices though. Except when I ate two fiber cereal bars (I have to up my fiber to reduce cholesterol), it was too many calories and TOO much fiber and as a result I had to hold my farts in during my public speaking class. Awesome, huh?

So with life being SO busy preparing healthy foods has been a bit more of a chore. I still do it because I genuinely want to be healthy, but what a pain. So, I bought some healthy-type convenience foods. Some frozen veggie-burger products, more fresh fruit, instant oatmeal... that way I don't have to spend forever cooking. I am mindful of every single thing I eat and on most days, I track it- I'm not trying to count calories, but it just happens when you log all your food. I have been doing pretty well but I'm still not losing much weight which is frustrating at times. I'm going to call on Monday to make an appointment to have my cholesterol checked. I think seeing the number reducing will make me happy. But, I also know that they might put me back on the medication.

I throw the exercise in where I can which is not enough! We took a family bike ride on Sunday to the in-laws. Andrew's inner tube had a hole in it so he and Lexi rode in the kid trailer with Devonn pulling. James had the hardest time because he hasn't had much practice since he learned to ride his bike, because his lame bike has the weird back pedal brakes, and because he is getting a bit too big. So, on the way home, we left him there, rode home, and then went back to get him with the car. We're hoping to find him a new inexpensive bike today. Well, Lexi has informed me that it's time to get off the computer.

Easy

Eating healthier has been EASY. Though I have been using whole milk in my oatmeal because the store was OUT of nonfat. And I did eat a super unhealthy meal Friday night when we took my parents out for Mexican food. But whatever, as long as I don't keep crappy food in the house, I don't eat it. Well actually, there is some crappy food in the house, I still don't eat it though. Exercise has been another thing. I have been more active, I'm in almost a constant state of motion throughout the day, just not calorie burning exercise. Lexi and I took a mile and a half walk one day and worked up a good sweat, but other than that, our plans have been foiled by chores, kids, and life. I work from 6:45 to 10:30 keeping the kids in check and the house in order and then I crash. Getting up early will not work for me. I would love a gym membership to a gym that watches kids free. But, we're broke as far as affording that stuff goes and I'm sure I would hear Lexi's "don't abandon me" screams throughout the whole gym. Well, time to get the boys from my parents, run an errand, come home to do Saturday chores, and then to do their science fair projects- yuck! (Why do we voluntarily do them every year? Cause they learn things? Pfft.)

PS- School starts for me on Tuesday. :(

I Have To Do Something

I have high cholesterol (and coincidentally, birth control increases it even further), I am obese, I have gallbladder issues, I have had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. My dad died when he was 39 from heart disease. His parents died young, his sister died young. I eat entirely too much CRAP from carbs and sugar to red, fatty meats, to diet pepsi's. I have to stop this. I was supposed to be following a strict diet of lean meats, little red meat or eggs, lots of fiber, less caffeine and I was supposed to exercise. I haven't done any of it at all. It is really very selfish of me. I remember when my dad died, it crushed me. Even now I wonder how things would be if he were here and it stings. If I died from a totally preventable thing, it would be pure selfishness. Are the candy and cheeseburgers worth leaving my children without their mother? NO.

Our scale is spazzing out so I'm not going to be weighing in super soon, but I know that I am at my fattest ever. It's easy to get too busy to care about myself. But I need to prioritize because being the healthiest I can be is more important than so many other tasks I invest my time in. Anyway, I am going to spend some time with my sweetheart before we have to sleep. I will try to update frequently but Lexi has made sitting at the computer very difficult...