Female Updates

At my appointment, I told Laura all the crappy stuff that had been going on (spotting, cramping, acne, hair, hot flashes) so she ordered blood work and an ultrasound. I did the bloodwork that day and came in one week later to have the ultrasound and the follow up appointment. All would have been done that day had there not been a need to wait for insurance authorization. Anyway, at the follow up, Laura told me that I am not menopausal, that my thyroid seems fine, but that my testosterone was slightly elevated. On the test they use, normal is between 10 and 70 and mine was 76. Even the slightest increase is enough to cause acne, hair growth, and hot flashes (and grumpiness, hehe). So that explained that. As far as the ultrasound, I do still have the uterine fibroid tumor and it is pretty large. And, surprise: I have a large ovarian cyst as well, yata! NOT! Though I am grateful that they were actually able to find something wrong with me. The cyst is what was causing the painful cramping and spotting. So for now the game plan is to put me on hormonal birth control to regulate my hormones, it will also probably shrink the cyst. I go back in 3 months for a follow up ultrasound to see if it is gone. If it isn't, we'll probably talk hysterectomy.

Also, since my skin will be back to normal (with any luck) and I won't be doubled over 2.5 weeks of the month, it is a perfect time to jump back on the exercise/eat better wagon! So that's the plan for after the New Year. I'm not going to go all super crazy with the dieting, but I am going to stop eating so.much.crap. I have seriously been consuming every treat in sight and it is SICK.

Still

I am still experiencing female issues (bleeding/spotting A LOT and severe cramping that totally feels like I am in labor), despite the ablation and everything else. I am also experiencing mild acne flare ups and a man beard. At this point, a hysterectomy would not bother me. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Hope it goes well!

And We're Off!

Off the wagon, that is. LOL. It's really not funny, but then again, it kind of is. I'm still eating a diet that is better for my cholesterol for the most part, but still eating pretty crappy. No exercise, except dance parties and chores with Lexi in my arms. But anyway, I just thought I'd update quickly in case anyone was wondering...

PS- I have a THOUSAND excuses for this quick failure, but they're just that- excuses.

Let's Do This!

Devonn and I decided that we need to be way more healthy (and lose weight!) We're kind of doing a competition- the weekly winner gets bragging rights. He's more concerned with inches lost and I'm more concerned with feeling better and being healthy (and of course I'd be LYING if I said that weight wasn't important to me).

I cut out sweets, am going to watch my red meat intake (gotta keep the cholesterol down), and am weaning myself off of diet pepsi. Right now I'm at one per day.

I'm back on myfitnesspal and LOVING it!! I can't recommend it enough. We have been and will continue to be BUSY so we'll see how motivated we can remain. Well, off to sweep and mop, get Andrew, feed Lexi, shower, vacuum, clean the kids bathroom, write the scout weekly newsletter, pick up James, have scouts, cook dinner, see Devonn off to school, help with homework, give baths, study for the debate in History on Thursday, do laundry, and CRASH! See what I mean? And today isn't really even a busy day for me...

Endometrial Ablation

The results from the biopsy that I spoke of during the last post came back and I do not have cancer (big surprise... but it really is still great news).

I had my ablation surgery yesterday and it was a breeze! They kept me waiting around at the hospital before it forever (they were really booked and I think there's a possibility that Dr. Owens was running late due to another surgery or something). Anyway, they put me under general anesthesia for it and I think I was asleep for a total of like 45 minutes or something. It was pretty sweet, they used a gas mask on me and kept telling me to take deep breaths, I counted three deep breaths and I was out. I woke up in recovery and was fine. After he was done, Dr. Owens showed Devonn before and after pictures of my uterus which is too cool.

They ended up getting to do the hydrothermablation procedure where they use hot saline to burn and destroy the lining of the uterus. This procedure is more thorough as the saline reaches all the crevices of the uterus destroying it all. It works better for an abnormally shaped uterus and fibroid tumors as well (ie- me). So the goal and the hope for us, is that I will not have periods at all. Dr. Owens said that no periods is about a 60% chance and that totally normally menstrual cycles (no mid-cycle bleeding and periods that last 4-5 days) is about a 90% chance. Did you know that a normal period only lasts 4-5 days? That's crazy! Mine last like 8 and the thing that really caused me to see the Dr. is that since Lexi, I basically spotted and/or bled three weeks out of the month. Blah, Blah.

Anyway, I took a long nap when I came home yesterday, mostly just cause I could, not because I was really overly tired. The cramping was moderate, not unlike bad period cramps. I took tylenol with codeine which took the edge slightly away. This morning, I woke up feeling pretty good. I still have some mild cramping when I let Lexi stand on my stomach and stuff- but nothing serious and nothing that warrants medication at all.

I just have to give a shout out to Dr. Owens and his staff- they are truly awesome! They are so proactive with my care. They don't fiddle around and make me wait for results, they do the testing they need to do right away, give me my options, and help me make informed decisions about my healthcare. I always get an immediate personal call from Dr. Owens or Laura (the nurse practitioner) with test results or a call from Rosie (the RN) the day after any surgery or procedure. They all know exactly what they're doing with our insurance (it can be a pain since it's not good, private insurance). And even the medical assistants are outgoing, friendly, and remember you each visit. They have a super full patient load, yet I've still never waited in the waiting room more than 15 minutes and they still treat you like you're important to them. I was in Rosie's office getting all the information I needed for my surgery and I was looking at her pictures and apparently, Dr. Owens takes his entire staff on annual vacations to exotic locations as well as to medical conferences and such to keep them all up to date on the latest info in obstetrics and gynecology. I wish he could have been my physician all along, but now that I have him, I'm determined to keep him until he retires (which better be when he's in his 90's or something).

Anyway, I'll keep everyone updated on the ablation results.

Female Issues Part 2

Uterus is abnormally thick. Blood within the lining of the uterus when there should not be. Fibroid still present. One treatment option to control the bleeding is hormonal birth control, but that could make the fibroid much larger and when I stopped taking it, I'd be right back at square one. The other treatment option (and the one I opted for) is endometrial ablation, where they burn out the lining of the uterus. This a relatively simple procedure and I should be back to normal quickly. This either takes away periods altogether (crossing my fingers) or greatly reduces them and the cramping and spotting will GONE! The only crappy thing is that my insurance requires an endometrial biopsy, which is painful and crappy, before they'll authorize the ablation. I was supposed to go in for my biopsy last week but my period showed up the morning of (FOUR days early!) So now the biopsy is scheduled for the 30th (the day after the all girls rafting trip).

Female Issues

I went to the ob/gyn yesterday. I saw Laura, the nurse practitioner. Although I've had experiences with Laura where her bedside manner isn't the best, yesterday went well. I explained to her that I'm basically bleeding/spotting and cramping 3 weeks out of the month (it seems to clear up for the week immediately before my period). After taking a history and feeling my uterus, she seems to think that the fibroid I had during my last pregnancy never went away. She said that my uterus feels abnormally firm and it did hurt while she was pressing on it with just mild pressure. My mom had these type of issues as well, fibroids and cysts, which eventually led to her having a total hysterectomy. Anyway, we won't actually know anything until after I have an ultrasound and because I have ghetto insurance, it has to be authorized first. So, I go back next Friday for that. I hope they find exactly what it is so they can treat me effectively cause this is getting crazy.

Anyway, I guess that's all for now.

Another Great One

Here is another great article from Janna Dean:

http://blog.cjanerun.com/2011/06/for-several-years-and-many-different.html

I love it. I love reading her articles. They make me feel less obsessed with the number on the scale and how fat I look. They make me want to be healthy for the sake of being healthy. I want to feel good, not have high cholesterol, not have gall bladder issues, have LOTS of energy to play with the munchkins, to boost my immune system...

Today is the day I can finally grocery shop. I'm tired (dealing with a super fussy baby- hope she's teething and a sick (AGAIN) 5-year old) and I just don't feel like going, but we NEED to. We are O-U-T of food. I cleaned out the cabinets yesterday and ended up throwing out 5 bags of expired foods. It was crazy and now I feel wasteful that I buy so many things and then neglect to eat them. Also, we've been shopping at Foodmaxx again recently because it's so close, and we have bought things on SO many occasions and then brought it home to realize it's already expired or when it's not expired as far as the date, it has still already gone bad. So dumb!

Off the Wagon

Needless to say, I have fallen off the wagon in a bad way and I am fatter than ever. Aside from being fat, I just feel unhealthy and I don't like it. I went to the Dr. the other day... I saw a nurse practitioner who was an absolute QUACK. She took me off of the cholesterol medication even though two actual physicians told me I would need to be on it forever unless by some miracle I was at a totally healthy BMI and was a complete vegetarian. But she insisted so I told her okay and quit. I guess once she sees that my cholesterol is sky high again she'll put me back on it. Anyway, she also told me that I have adult onset acne (oh joy!) and prescribed benzoyl peroxide (which costs $21.99 since insurance won't cover it). So I'm starting the regimen on acne.org tonight. (basically: cleanse, use benzoyl peroxide, moisturize. Twice a day. Every day). Also, I had to beg her to write me a prescription for the medication that I know I need for my eczema.

Aside from those issues, the female issues continue and I have an appointment with my ob/gyn in a couple weeks. (I kept having to postpone it because things with the kids would come up). Also, my gallbladder has been acting up again. I DO NOT want the surgery so I am going to make one last attempt at dramatically reducing the fat in my diet.

I'm also having mental issues- seriously, I think I'm going crazy. I have been SO anxious over the kids being sick, specifically Lexi. I am such a hypochondriac with them. Andrew had strep throat, was treated and is fine. But, his allergies have not quit acting up in like a year and he constantly has bloody boogers/snot which really causes my hypochondria to go nuts (I won't tell you all what I convince myself it really is). And then there's Lexi... you can read all about her woes on the main blog.

Bottom line: I am unhealthy in so many ways and I know that if I just ate more fruits and vegetables, drank more water, and ate less processed foods coupled with exercise, I would totally feel much better in every way. Currently we only have CRAPPY food and I can't shop until after payday so I will make do for now, but starting in June, I think I'll give it another serious go.

I'm Fat

I wouldn't be surprised if I stepped on the scale and was heavier than ever! I have been eating candy, cookies, chips, and junk in great volume in addition to no water and big meals. Ughh. Why don't I have self control!? I'm super nervous and stressed about my talk and everything I have to do... :(

I will jump back on the wagon soon! (I hope).

I gained

And you know what? I don't care! I have been really busy and I just hit a slump where I've been emotionally eating. I don't have time to count every calorie at the moment, nor do I want to. I have a lot going on and eating 5 donut holes, 3 brownies, plus other junk at Amber's the other night just made me feel good! I will gain my motivation sometime, but probably not this week, with a church lesson AND a talk to prepare.

I will be more mindful of what I eat and try to limit the junk food, but that's the extent of it. Anyway, off to do my miles long to do list!

Please Read This

http://blog.cjanerun.com/2011/04/janna-dean-weight-doesnt-matter.html

This article is full of truths that I really needed to hear. It would be easy for me to read an article like this and say "See!? I don't need to be putting tons of effort into dieting." I appreciate the truths in this article and it has inspired me to focus less on the weight loss aspects of my goal and more on the health aspects. So I will continue dieting (having an allotted amount of calories causes me to spend those precious calories on things that will fill me up and keep me full. In other words, I eat less crap.) This article helped me realize how important exercising is, even if I loathe it, I will strive to do it regularly. And as always, more water!

Six Days of Celebration

Last week and part of this were spent celebrating my birthday... which meant crappy eating and little exercise. I need to change the way I celebrate and quit using food as a reward. I also need to drink WAY more water. My birthday is done and over with until next year, so no excuses for crappy eating. (At least until Easter, right?)

Anyway, in the beginning of the week I snuck in a few trips to the scale and had lost 1 pound, but by the end of the week, I had gained it back. So at my official weigh in I was exactly the same as before. I totally maintained. I wasn't overly disappointed because I expected it, but yeah... It's getting to the point where I am growing tired of shopping for and preparing healthy food--this is the point where I stop trying usually. But not this time- I have been seriously people watching lately and I want to look like the healthy, thinner ones not the oompa loompas. Shallow, but true.

Anyway, I have LOTS to do this week so this will be a test of stick-to-it-tive-ness I guess.

PS- Devonn beat me AGAIN. Sigh.

PPS- I went to the Milan institute to get a spa pedicure... it was LOVELY and only $18 for like an hours worth of bliss.

Out To Lunch

Amber Cola took me out to lunch for my early birthday present. I love Amber so much, she is such a sweet friend and a terrific example of fitness!! Homegirl is hot and totally unwavering when it comes to exercise. But anyway, I ordered a chili verde burrito with rice and refried beans. Plus I had chips and salsa. I didn't eat dinner because I knew it put me at my calorie limit. Devonn might get me a 6-inch Subway sandwich on his way home but if not, I'll eat some strawberries and call it done. I'm not hungry either which is awesome. I know I should be consuming pretty level amounts of food at regular intervals to keep my metabolism stable but whatever. I am so into not going above my calories that it's becoming kind of an obsession. I keep having to remind myself that I'm celebrating and that it's okay.

I think I have lost 1 pound so far. I really hope I can lose another one!! My birthday is on Saturday and we're going to my parents for dinner so I'm not sure. I'll just keep on working out... even if it's 30 measly minutes on the stationary bike. I need to make sure I actually eat the 1200 calories too. And I need to drink way more water!! I know that it is the absolute key to weight loss success, it's just hard to train yourself to drink so much when you're used to drinking like 1 cup.

While on the bike today, it appeared as though I've lost a little in my thighs. While in the shower, it appeared as though I lost some from my boobs. I have not lost any from my stomach. It's always the first to appear and the last to go. It's all good though. Wish me luck hitting my 2 lbs this week?

One last thing, I think I'm over my sugar addiction! (I could easily fall into it though) I've been surrounded by it quite a few times lately and I can totally refrain. Today I ate three of the hershey's kisses Amber gave me and that's it... only three! Before, I would have eaten the entire bag.

Oh and also, does anyone know the actual effectiveness of vitamin b6 at boosting metabolism? I took half of one when I was pregnant for a couple months to quell the extreme barfiness and I was pretty hot. I know that the majority of that was because I was eating well and too sick to eat crappy but I can't help but wonder. I also question whether the b6, which supposedly can lead to the expression of certain genes, is what caused the seizure gene to express itself in Lexi. I am totally wracked with guilt. But that's another story.

A New Week

I wasn't thrilled with my loss last week but it was a loss. I'm grateful I didn't remain the same, or worse, increase. I was also on my period and am REALLY hoping that caused the number on the scale to be bigger. I didn't sleep much last night but I got on the stationary bike and did a pretty intense (for me) 30-minute ride anyway in the morning. It was LOVELY! I had to force myself to finish the last few minutes (I'm a weeny). But afterward I felt so great.

Some of my little goals this week: increase my water consumption, meet my calorie goal, keep the diet pepsi's at 2/day. I would also like to exercise at least a few more days this week. Also on the schedule for the week: clean the apartment top to bottom (takes FOREVER with Lexi) and finish heaps of my Math homework. I suppose I should try to get to bed earlier too.

Devonn said I can buy the game Rift and play it with him for his weekly prize (since he did beat me). I might, but I'll probably still give him a nice massage. Anyway, off to bed I go.

Cue Ominous Music?

Weigh in is tomorrow. I did start my period. My pants feel too tight. I didn't exercise much. I ate a bit of crappy stuff and probably went over my calories a couple times. I haven't been good about logging my meals lately but I am mindful of what I've been consuming. The last time I checked, I was down 1.5 lbs- I think I'm back up though. A 2 lb loss would make me happy (although Devonn lost much more I think). I need to shower but I worry that my skin will absorb and hold enough water to make me heavier, not to mention my hair... wacky, huh?

Since this blog is private and it's about my health, I feel comfortable sharing too much. I haven't been able to use tampons in years. They do not fit comfortably and when they do, the blood just goes around them or something. I'll totally fill a pad and pull out a tampon to discover that it's barely used. I've tried every different brand with similar results- sometimes they just retain a weird shape even though they're supposed to fan out to fit your body. They worked when I was a teenager (sneaking them from my mom because she was WACKY and never let me use them). I think they stopped working after I had James or Andrew. I tried "Instead" today, a disposable cup type of product. Supposedly it's a wonder product for women with similar issues to mine. Well, it didn't work. I cannot get it to insert fully and rest on top of my pubic bone. It's supposed to kind of suction to your cervix... it didn't. I'm bummed because even with the best pads, I fill one every hour for several days during my period. That's a WHOLE LOT of running to the bathroom. I'm almost home bound during those days. So anyone, (ie, Sarah, the only regular reader) have any suggestions? I'm probably going to talk to the nurse practitioner when I go in for my annual (someday). But who knows.

Also, I have had the crappiest skin ever lately. I don't know what is going on. It's been this way for a few months. Did my pregnancy with Lexi forever alter my hormones so I'll just have ugly skin? There's a slight possibility of it being my cholesterol meds but it doesn't really seem feasible.

Okay enough whining and complaining! I need to go prepare for Sunday (sadly, not my favorite thing to do).

Reason To Be Nervous This Time

I have been under my calories this week, I have not been exercising because we've been trying to get the house cleaned up for our annual re-certification inspection and really because every time Lexi is awake, she is grumpy and in need of entertainment. Her naps don't last longer than maybe 30-45 minutes (because she sleeps so well at night) so I generally shower or straighten up during those times. Plus we've been busy with other stuff.

The calories alone should have me losing, but it doesn't seem to be the case. I've been weighing myself in the mornings and I'm only down 0.4 lbs and it's already Thursday... sigh. I was supposed to start my period yesterday and I didn't so any day now... I am really hoping that's why. It could be the whole starvation mode junk because I sometimes have trouble hitting 1200 calories or it could be that I totally don't drink water. Devonn still wants to compete because he knows that eventually he'll win... this might be the week. If so, it will make me grouchy because I'm actually trying while he quit logging in to count his calories, doesn't exercise much, and eats way more... men!

Well, wish me luck! I paid in full for the rafting trip and I really don't want to be a total cow when I go.

Week 2 Weigh-In: Success!

We weighed in yesterday morning. I lost 3.8 pounds during the week! In the two weeks since our "lifestyle change," I have lost 9 pounds; 46 more to go! 9 seems like such a tiny number in comparison to the 46 I have left. I have these 8 lb weights though, and it's fun to pick one up and think that I am no longer carrying that around.

For those wondering, I beat Devonn again but I'm not sure we're going to compete much anymore... we'll see. It has been hard finding time for my rewards. Plus, Devonn has been sick and he's usually busy. The competition/rewards system was my idea and he just kind of went along with it, I don't think he was ever really into it. Although, if he were winning I think he would be super into it.

Okay, I'm exhausted!!! Was up sticking the pacifier in the baby's mouth every couple hours...

So Nervous!!

I am so nervous that I won't lose weight this week or that it will be minuscule. And then I will question whether it's because I haven't been eating enough calories each day (working hard at that one)--according to hundred's of successful people in the forums at myfitnesspal, when they initially plateaued, they began eating all of their 1200 calories plus half of their calories earned through exercise and they never plateaued again. I will also question whether it could be my period is lurking around the corner. A funny thing about my period, I'm 2-3 lbs heavier when I'm PMSing and when I'm menstruating but the day before my period starts I tend to be a couple pounds lighter than my actual weight. If I happen to weigh in that day, it would kind of suck because then the following week when I haven't lost any I would be discouraged.

I do realize that I'm too obsessed with a number on the scale. The bottom line is that I've been feeling pretty good and that's nice. This morning, I was SO exhausted but I decided to just exercise (I did a 10-minute workout on the cable) and then I wasn't tired anymore. I did so great with my calories and exercising (I also cleaned quite a bit) that I was able to eat a John's Burger salad (with the ranch and cheese)...yeah baby! From my estimation, the salad is about 1005 calories.

I'm also really going to cut down on the diet soda. I'm working towards either only having one a day (a can). Or only having one when we go out.

The website My Body Gallery is pretty great but it's kind of funny because supposedly people my weight and size wear a size 18 pants but I'm wearing a 22. I do have a BIG stomach though, so that could be why.

Okay, I need to get to bed earlier tonight!

PS- To Sarah, thanks for the soda causing water retention tip! I can drink one a bit later than 4pm the previous day, but not much later. I guess I never gave it any thought. But now that I know, it makes my weigh-ins a bit happier.

My Motivation

Devonn and I haven't done so hot with setting up any incremental rewards, we'll need to do that before too long so I can stay motivated. One fun thing that I might do, is a rafting trip. It's with ladies that I only know of really so I'm trying to convince other friends to come with me it's kind of expensive is the only problem. It's on June 29th. Sarah? April? wanna come?? I know you might be moving Sarah and I know you're like me when it comes to spending money on yourself, but still maybe it can be your motivator too... I sent you the info on FB, Sarah.

Anyway, if I can keep up with a 2lb weight loss each week, by the time the rafting trip rolls around, I'll be 30 lbs lighter! That would make me around 179. Only 20lbs away from my initial goal weight! I plan on swimming come beginning of June too (assuming it will be hot enough) so I hope to have a bit of a tan by then. But anyway, yay!

That's all for now. Once I'm over the initial excitement of eating better, I'll probably post less. Or maybe not, maybe I'll post every time I have a craving and then you'll all stop reading, heh.

First Weigh-In Results

My first weight in was this morning (Sunday morning). After 6 days of dieting, I lost 5.2 lbs! My starting weight was probably actually lower than 214lbs though because I weighed myself in the evening when I can be up to 3 pounds heavier so really I could have lost less. But ANYWAY, I'm just going to go with it and celebrate the 5 pound weight loss!

I beat Devonn percentage wise, but barely. I know he's too busy to do all of Lexi's feeding for a day and a massage sounds great, so a massage it is!

It has actually been hard for me to eat 1200 calories because I'm mental. I know that I need to so as not to go into starvation mode, but it's tough. I'm so afraid of completely blowing it. I know that there are no foods that are 0 calories and I know that I need to eat...(can we say eating disorder? No, in reality, I get very close to 1200). My parents agreed to let me borrow their super old stationary bike as well as to let me have my old bike back. I think that once I can ride the stationary bike an hour each day, it will be easier to justify eating... I don't know.

But anyway, my cravings haven't been too bad at all. (Except today when Grannie was making chocolate chip cookies at Blaine and Carrin's... curse her! But I abstained). I plan on eating what I want on Disneyland days since one cheat day every few weeks won't hurt your diet, plus I burn well over 1000 calories from walking around all day.

It occurred to me today while listening to the Word of Wisdom lesson, that I am actually following the Word of Wisdom pretty close to the way it was intended. I have been eating lot of fruits and veggies and whole grains. I've dropped my meat consumption to "sparingly" and I've eliminated sweets from the day to day (like I mentioned before, it has to be all or nothing with sweets--plus one cookie is like 150 calories-yuck!) But come Disneyland, big fat cinnamon roll, here I come!

I'm due to start my period in something like a week. I have WICKED chocolate/carb cravings when I'm PMSing. Plus, I gain a few pounds except the day right before it, I oddly drop a few. But anyway, Devonn stands a chance next week I guess.

Well, it is now after midnight (dumb time change) and I need to get to sleep.

PS- For those wondering, The Word of Wisdom is a set of health guidelines that tell us, very simply put, to abstain from addictive, harmful substances and to consume healthy stuff. Basically it just tells us to be healthy like we know we should! (There's more to it, but yeah...)

New Plan

I had been using the weight watchers plus points system on the app I bought for my phone but I decided to calculate the calories just to see and I was disappointed to find out that with the new plus program, my calories were a bit high. So I'm going to start counting calories instead. I'm using this website: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/. It is pretty awesome, it has a database with just about every food and exercise imaginable. There is also a free app for mobile devices that syncs with your regular account. So, that is the new plan.

Also, I'm cutting back on diet pepsi (kinda). My plan for now is to only drink it with lunch and dinner, but I'm not going to be all nazi about it (sometimes I just want one, like now). I also decided to start exercising once in a while just to burn off some extra calories and to be able to indulge in a bit of extra food once in a while. I'm not going to be all nazi about exercising either. Still taking baby steps so I don't suffer burnout. Yesterday the kids and I took an hour long walk. I want to do something today but we'll see, maybe biggest loser after the kids go to bed? Maybe walking the bluffs with them?

PS- It looks like Devonn and Sarah are the only readers (I also invited Alison Moreno but she hasn't accepted yet). Just letting you all know.

A Day at Disneyland/Photographic Motivation

We went to Disneyland yesterday. I didn't do great with my meals. Not SUPER terrible, but not great. Devonn went through a drive-thru for breakfast and I got a teriyaki chicken bowl. For lunch we bought a whole pizza because we knew the kids would want more than one slice and it was more cost effective. I didn't want any to go to waste, so I ate three pieces (instead it went to waist, hehe). They were vegetarian slices, but that doesn't mean anything. For dinner I had a relatively healthy chicken sandwich from Burger King's drive-thru (but I also had french fries which was just dumb. I should have just gotten the apple fries). I also ate some of James's cinnamon roll. I normally would have PIGGED out at Disneyland (churros, my own cinnamon roll, HUGE meals)- I exercised some restraint.

We were there for 10 hours and pretty much walked the whole time. I put 6 hours of walking in my app's activity log to account for sitting to eat and feed Lexi and for the time we were sitting on actual rides and it gave me 30 activity points. I surpassed my daily points (35) and my activity points and went into my weekly bonus points with all the crap I ate. I am going to be careful to never count on my bonus points or activity points (except maybe on Thanksgiving).

I've long known that I am a sugar addict. I totally lack the ability to control myself around sweets (especially chocolate or pastry type treats). I will sit down and eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies or half a gallon of chocolate ice cream. I have become the woman I used to gasp at in talk shows. It is sad. For me, it will have to be an all or nothing thing regarding sweets.

Here is some photographic motivation for me. I know I probably wouldn't likely ever be so small as some of these again but they still serve as motivation:


Devonn and I had been dating a while, I would say I was probably about 135-142 lbs?


This is when Devonn and I first started dating. I was between 125 and 130lbs.


This is in 2007. I would estimate that I was in the 140's or 150's... my goal weight!


Another from when we first started dating.


Here is another in 2007 of me at my goal weight.

This is a more recent one of me. Big (disgusting) difference.

Fantastically Fit

I want to be fantastically fit, hence the name of the blog. I'm tired of being FAT. I want to run and not be weary, I want to have the stamina to play for hours with my crazy kids, and if we're being honest here-- I want to look hot. I am at an all time high and enough is enough.

I will likely be putting all the nitty gritty details on this blog so at first, readers will be very limited. Once I achieve some weight loss/fitness goals and am feeling more comfortable, then I might add more readers.

So here we go:

I am 5'7" (really 5'6.5" probably but we'll go with 5'7"). And 214 pounds. Yuck. My BMI is 33.47; I am obese class I. It is sickening because right after Lexi, I was in the 180's/190's and just overweight. I am fairly sedentary and have just been inhaling food. I will not tell you that I'm one of those people that doesn't eat a lot because that would be a lie. Also, I eat completely unhealthy crap. I hate cleaning up after I cook and I don't enjoy cooking while the baby cries so we usually just eat out. A quick disclaimer as far as my weight: I weighed in Sunday evening after eating a lot all day so when I weigh in next Sunday in the morning, it will probably be a lot less, so it won't be a totally true weight loss reflection.

My initial goal weight is 159 (a 55 lb. loss) which will put me at the high end of normal in regards to BMI. Devonn is working with me and it is so nice to have some support! I think we can keep each other going this time. My initial plan for achieving this goal weight is eating better and using the weight watchers points plan, only I'm CHEAP, so I'm using a non-weight watchers app on my phone. My initial allotment of points is 35 daily points. I'm hoping to lose about 2 pounds/week which will put me at my initial goal mid-September- just in time for the new school year! Devonn and I are planning on competing with one another. The winner for the week gets something like an hour long massage or a baby-feeding free day or something equally awesome. We competed in a "Biggest Loser-Service Edition" a couple years ago and we both did pretty well so it seems competition will be helpful. We're also planning on setting up a system of rewards, small incremental rewards for certain percent of weight lost and then some kind of amazing reward for reaching our goal.

My initial goal and plans are low, I don't want to set myself up to fail so I'm taking it one step at a time. First, I will stop eating out (we REALLY can't afford it anyway) and will start counting points and staying within my limits. I'm also going to work on getting adequate sleep (which will mean getting to bed before 12:30am.) I might add some walks or something in, but for now I'm not worried about exercise. I'm also not planning on drastically reducing my diet pepsi intake just yet (even thought I KNOW it makes me crave carbs. Baby steps.

Okay the baby is waking from her nap and I want to do a couple things to the layout and add some stuff so here we go!