The Updates

Although I decided to take control a few days ago and really get the ball rolling, I did crappy anyway... so sad.

As of today, Devonn decided to jump on the bandwagon too, yay! It is so much easier when your spouse is in the trenches with you! It sucks that we can't workout together (stinking kids...) but it's awesome that we can support each other.

So, my uterus is still jacked. I ended up canceling my last appointment which was dumb. My next appointment is December 20th. I think he'll probably schedule the surgery at that point... only problem is that I cannot miss any school and recovery will take AT LEAST 2 weeks (though they tell you six)... so scheduling it will be difficult unless he can get me in SUPER fast. My uterus is currently stuck to other organs with scar tissue so any brisk movement causes it to pull and tug (and possibly rip?) and bleed... it's a mess and it makes exercising dangerous... Doesn't mean I won't do it... just means I'll suffer a bit and that I'll have to be careful not to overdo it. The crappy internal organ situation means that my diet is SUPER important to my weight loss/fitness goals.

In terms of school, once that starts, things will get CRAZY. So I will have to have extra dance parties with Lexi in the early mornings and maybe some race-the-clock/marathon cleaning sprees to get my heart rate pumping. Because my time will be filled to the brim with school, homework, commuting, chores/mommy stuff, and because I do still want to connect with the kids and show them some undivided attention, I will just have to be creative with my workouts. :)

But anyway, onward!

Super Fast

Lexi slept in really late because she didn't have a nap yesterday and is just now starting to whine in her crib so this has to be super fast...

Today is the day that I take control and get back into shape. I need to post all about my medical issues (that are worse than ever) and how exercising with full time school and a terrible two-year old REALLY is hard. I also need to catch up on a few other things but for now, I am back in the saddle again...

Searing Pain

Well ladies and gents (really just ladies...) I'm having extreme female issues again. Right now I have a cyst that hurts worse than any I have ever had. It's 3:30 am and I have taken medicine but the pain is so bad I can't sleep. I was torn about getting a hysterectomy but now I am not. Now I can't wait!

The earliest my Dr. could get me in is August 3rd with the nurse practitioner. I would prefer to see Dr. Owens just because of our history together as of late, but I'll take what I can get. My crappy insurance requires prior authorization for an ultrasound so she'll have to request that then I'll have to come back and then we'll go from there. They'll want me on hormones to shrink the cyst(s) which I hate, but I guess whatever gets rid of it/them. How's that for my first post in a long time? Nice and whiny.

LAZY!

I have been so freaking lazy in terms of diet and exercise and I have been going over my calories every day (not that I've been tracking them). I am part of a Facebook group ran by a church friend (so is Devonn and several other people) I can invite whomever if anyone is interested. Kate Geiger (formerly Ramirez) is heading it up. Basically she's keeping weekly results and we're trying to keep each other motivated. It's like a Biggest Loser competition with no strings attached- no money to pay, etc. Our initial weigh in was last Friday and our first results oriented weigh in is tomorrow. Despite having this group, I'm still totally unmotivated. 

I think it's just because I've just been so tired. And I've been so tired because I stay up until midnight then toss and turn until 1am then I'm up around 8am (Bless Lexi's little heart that she has decided to start sleeping in during the summer). And I have always been one of those people that needs at least 8 hours a day. So basically, I've been irresponsible with my sleep.

I do get a little burst of energy around 3pm where I could ride the bike while I watch Dr. Phil but it hasn't been working out that way in terms of a schedule. Monday we were doing something (can't remember what), Tuesday was Disneyland (yay!), Wednesday we were at the in-laws working on Ma's car, and today I was cooking for some friends who just had a beautiful baby girl!

I need to get way better about everything and stop being so lazy. I need to make an exercise schedule and keep all the unhealthy crap out of our house. Knowing that I'm probably at like 195 and that I'm having such lazy issues and since school is starting for me on the 26th, I think my new Catalina goal will be to be in the 180's-totally doable. A longer term goal will be to be in the 170's when I start my Fall classes in September. (Also totally doable).


Okay, I'm rambling to the point that even my mind is wandering. Over and out-

Post Op

I had my post op appointment today. Before going I prayed that my doctor and I would make the best decision for me right now. We decided to watchfully wait. I am going off birth control because I HATE it and to see what happens with my ovaries when I do. We are going to see how my uterus continues to respond to the surgery and decide a course of action if I continue to have pain. Dr. Owens is fabulous and I feel completely happy with this :) (it helps that the cramping has been much, much better the past couple of days and I was having second thoughts about lobbying for a hysterectomy).

He showed me the photos from the surgery... holy cow. My scar tissue was gnarly.

In weight loss/fitness news: I have been maintaining weight, but I have been eating REALLY, REALLY crappy food. I'm betting my cholesterol is off the charts. Now that I can exercise again (including lifting heavy stuff at the grocery store), I'm back on the wagon... I am not nearly as motivated lately (what's wrong with me?) so I'm hoping I'll keep it up.

Well, I'm SO tired and I have a laundry pile that is a few inches taller than me... no joke- so I think I'll go try to tackle that while Devonn works on an assignment.

Surgery and Latest Updates

I had my surgery on Tuesday and it was a success in that I woke up from the anesthesia ;) We expected to find some scar tissue and adhesion's, along with some cysts and a tumor or two. Well, when he got in there, he was very disturbed to find that my uterus was COMPLETELY covered in scar tissue to the point that it had totally adhered to other internal organs such as my bowels, etc. It was so stuck that it couldn't move at all. NO WONDER! No wonder I had CONSTANT cramping and pain, no wonder I couldn't exercise without extreme cramping, no wonder I couldn't differentiate poop cramps with uterine cramps sometimes. ;) Just saying.

Anyway, he was able to cut it away from other internal organs to give it some mobility but there is still so much scar tissue that a hysterectomy is in the future. If I take it easy with this recovery and don't cause it to build more scar tissue and re-adhere to my internal organs, there is a chance that we can prolong the hysterectomy which is good considering surgeries SUCK. All my other parts looked good. The tumor hasn't grown, the ovarian cysts were gone (they always are in the first half of my cycle). I go back in two weeks to discuss things with him. (Such as how much I hate birth control, etc).

I always say it, but it's so true: I have the best family in the world. While I am recovering, Blaine and Carrin are watching Lexi for me because Devonn and the boys are on their manly camping trip. I am feeling okay right now thanks to anti-nausea medication and a pretty good thresh hold for pain. The pain felt like a c-section at first, without the giant incision. Now the pain is there but it is much better. I stopped taking the pain meds because I'm weird and kind of anti-medication... I have this irrational fear that taking too many will lead me to be less responsive to them in the future, plus I know that my body is capable of remarkable things on its own. PLUS, I didn't want to be constipated. I called the Dr. yesterday because I couldn't handle the nausea a second longer and he called in an Rx for Zofran... holy crap that stuff is GOOD. Dissolves on your tongue and voila, no more nausea. I love it. I was finally able to eat as a result of it which totally lifted my spirits and gave me some energy.


Anyway, that's that. He told me if I wanted to heal this time I needed to heed his warnings and REST for two weeks, just laying around. Sounds fun, huh? It's totally not though. It's boring and I miss being a mommy.


Oh, as far as weight loss, I'm still at 192- wtf? Even with barely sipping a tiny bit of soup and a tiny bit of applesauce over the course of three days, I'm still 192. Dumb.

Back on Track

After slacking off for a few weeks and gaining a few pounds (I was up to 195), I am back on track as of today. My pre-op for surgery is tomorrow and then my actual surgery is on the 22nd (I am PRAYING that he will find something and come up with solutions). I am not going to let this crazy pains/cysts/tumor/who knows what else stand in my way though. I am in control, not these dumb medical issues. I wonder if these stupid problems are caused by fatness. Can't wait until I'm skinny to find out.

So I had fallen into to all kinds of bad habits- funny how quickly that happens, huh? I consumed WAY more soda than water, wasn't counting calories, was eating sweets and crap again, and wasn't exercising. That all ends now.

I am upset at the thought that I might not be able to take James on the zipline. I need to be between 170 and 180 to do it- probably closer to 170 because he might gain a pound or two by then, plus we'll have shoes and be fully clothed. We have 11 weeks until we go. I'm 195 right now (I think). If I lose 2 lbs/week, then I will have lost 22 lbs and be 173. That would be alright but with surgery and all the unknowns, I just don't know if that's a super attainable goal right now. I am going to try my very hardest though. I will see where I am at in a month and if I have lost an okay amount, then I will go ahead and book the excursion. I think it would be a perfect 8th birthday gift for James!

Okay, I exercised for 30 minutes today but I think I'll go do it again because I was over my calories.