Frustrating

Lexi has got to be the most clingy, needy baby ever right now. I am hoping it is a phase. I love her and I love that I'm her favorite person at the moment, but sheesh it's frustrating. The only thing she "lets" me do at all is stand to fold laundry on by bed. Unload the dishwasher, spend any time whatsoever on the stationary bike, forget about it. It is getting very difficult to exercise. I am determined though. I guess I'll just have to do all my exercising with her which is going to end up being a lot of bike rides (with her in the trailer) and lots of walks. I need to make a schedule for myself because aside from exercising, I have to do chores, school, homework, kid pick ups and drop offs, cooking, stuff with the boys. And then Devonn is busy ALL the time...

In other, non-complaining news, I think I'm doing well with Biggest Loser. I have been weighing myself frequently and the number seems to be going down. I am scared to death that because I was on the placebo pills and now I'm back on the real deal, that the number won't budge, or worse, go up! I am also concerned because I ate less than 1200 calories yesterday- I am trying not to make a habit of it, but it's tough. I might have to take Emilee's advice about not counting until the afternoon but that's super tough for me...

The Start of Biggest Loser

I weighed in for Biggest Loser yesterday- it was about 9:30am, I hadn't eaten breakfast (shame, shame) and I removed my shoes but was otherwise fully clothed. I weighed 222.6. Last night after I came home from eating pizza and birthday cake, I weighed 220.8- weird. Either I burned some calories (but not THAT many) or the hardwood floors where I weighed in were weird.

Today I have been adhering to a diet very well which isn't hard. I rode my bike from my apartment to the alley off of Auburn Oaks, near Fairfax and back. It was 1.77 miles according to my bicycling app. I thought I was going relatively fast, but apparently not. I guess I was only going around 8.5 mph which only equates to 88 calories burned... what a let down!

I think the challenge for me, as it always is when I count calories and attempt to diet, is eating a full 1200 calories. I tend to get so obsessed with not going over that I eat way less. When I eat less, I plateau and don't lose more than 1 pound, if anything. Okay, off to do homework and maybe plan dinner... I have 704 calories left to eat today.

Exciting News- Really Quick!

I have to go to school in less than 15 minutes but I wanted to post really quick- I will be starting a Biggest Loser- Couples competition tomorrow. My partner is my friend Rachel. I am so excited about this! I feel like this is just the motivation I need to really jump start some weight loss. Originally I set out to just eat healthier (and I have for the last month or so). But now, (at least for the next 6 weeks) the goal will be weight loss AND healthful eating.

My only concern is that the hormones I'm on will prevent me from seeing big numbers each week. In prior weight loss/healthy eating attempts, I saw huge numbers, but with this last bit the numbers have been like 1-2lbs each week. BUT, I wasn't counting calories and all that Jazz. I am going to be diligent and work super hard at dieting and exercising :) Wish us luck!

PS- It was funny, last night I had to clean for several hours and I was so disappointed about burning calories!

PPS- Watch this interesting video:

Updates

I stepped on the scale on Saturday fully clothed and after eating and I had lost another 2 lbs, but my official weigh in day is Tuesday so it doesn't count. I had a piece of very delicious chocolate cake at my grandpa's birthday party on Saturday. No idea how many calories... probably a lot. But, we went on a family bike ride later that afternoon. I put that I went less than 10mph and that we only rode for 15 minutes. Myfitnesspal gave me an estimate of just over 100 calories burned. In reality it was probably longer and for some of it, I definitely rode faster than 10mph. But either way, even if I only burned 100, that compensates a bit for the cake.

In terms of my REAL goal, just being healthier and reducing cholesterol, I have been doing SO much better than I was. I haven't had any red meat (and don't miss it). I haven't had much other meat either. Lots of fruit, veggies, and whole grain. I've been adhering to a Word of Wisdom diet pretty well and it feels good. It is so embarrassing and insane that I used to eat SO much crap. I finally took out the trash in my office the other day (it doesn't fill up too fast) and there was a Twix bag at the bottom. It was sad to think that I ate that entire bag in like 1 or 2 sittings. Plus all the other crap I likely ate that day. This wasn't a rare occurrence either- it happened all the time. Everyday shortly after a big meal or with a diet soda, I would start craving sweets- chocolate specifically so I would give in and eat one or two king size candy bars. What a nasty glutton. Right now I'm still in a vulnerable place when it comes to sweets, I know that if I ate one bite, it would start the cravings and mental obsession with them all over again. I think the cake when we went out didn't do it because I don't have access to it at home and it was a rare treat.

I still am not doing so well with getting to bed on time. There is just so much that ends up getting crammed into my nights because it is the time that the kids (Lexi in particular) are finally out of my hair. It's the time that I can finally sit down and do homework or load the dishwasher without someone getting all the knives out or taking two dishes out to every one that I put in. Plus I like to go to bed with Devonn and student teaching is hell in terms of being on a schedule- it is WAY more work than just preparing and giving lessons, it is also "TPA's," meetings, projects, etc. In the program, they tell you that your student teaching quarter is like boot camp and that you'll have no time for outside interests and little time for family- they weren't lying. Although Devonn refuses to give up time with family so he just goes to bed late...

Anyway, I should take this time to do some more homework... Adios!

PS- My Sister-in-law, Emilee, is HOT and has been such an inspiration to me! Please keep it up (and feel free to keep me accountable) Em!

Less Easy

I kind of ate a lot yesterday- I was just so stinking hungry! It was weird. I still made smart-ish food choices though. Except when I ate two fiber cereal bars (I have to up my fiber to reduce cholesterol), it was too many calories and TOO much fiber and as a result I had to hold my farts in during my public speaking class. Awesome, huh?

So with life being SO busy preparing healthy foods has been a bit more of a chore. I still do it because I genuinely want to be healthy, but what a pain. So, I bought some healthy-type convenience foods. Some frozen veggie-burger products, more fresh fruit, instant oatmeal... that way I don't have to spend forever cooking. I am mindful of every single thing I eat and on most days, I track it- I'm not trying to count calories, but it just happens when you log all your food. I have been doing pretty well but I'm still not losing much weight which is frustrating at times. I'm going to call on Monday to make an appointment to have my cholesterol checked. I think seeing the number reducing will make me happy. But, I also know that they might put me back on the medication.

I throw the exercise in where I can which is not enough! We took a family bike ride on Sunday to the in-laws. Andrew's inner tube had a hole in it so he and Lexi rode in the kid trailer with Devonn pulling. James had the hardest time because he hasn't had much practice since he learned to ride his bike, because his lame bike has the weird back pedal brakes, and because he is getting a bit too big. So, on the way home, we left him there, rode home, and then went back to get him with the car. We're hoping to find him a new inexpensive bike today. Well, Lexi has informed me that it's time to get off the computer.

Easy

Eating healthier has been EASY. Though I have been using whole milk in my oatmeal because the store was OUT of nonfat. And I did eat a super unhealthy meal Friday night when we took my parents out for Mexican food. But whatever, as long as I don't keep crappy food in the house, I don't eat it. Well actually, there is some crappy food in the house, I still don't eat it though. Exercise has been another thing. I have been more active, I'm in almost a constant state of motion throughout the day, just not calorie burning exercise. Lexi and I took a mile and a half walk one day and worked up a good sweat, but other than that, our plans have been foiled by chores, kids, and life. I work from 6:45 to 10:30 keeping the kids in check and the house in order and then I crash. Getting up early will not work for me. I would love a gym membership to a gym that watches kids free. But, we're broke as far as affording that stuff goes and I'm sure I would hear Lexi's "don't abandon me" screams throughout the whole gym. Well, time to get the boys from my parents, run an errand, come home to do Saturday chores, and then to do their science fair projects- yuck! (Why do we voluntarily do them every year? Cause they learn things? Pfft.)

PS- School starts for me on Tuesday. :(

I Have To Do Something

I have high cholesterol (and coincidentally, birth control increases it even further), I am obese, I have gallbladder issues, I have had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. My dad died when he was 39 from heart disease. His parents died young, his sister died young. I eat entirely too much CRAP from carbs and sugar to red, fatty meats, to diet pepsi's. I have to stop this. I was supposed to be following a strict diet of lean meats, little red meat or eggs, lots of fiber, less caffeine and I was supposed to exercise. I haven't done any of it at all. It is really very selfish of me. I remember when my dad died, it crushed me. Even now I wonder how things would be if he were here and it stings. If I died from a totally preventable thing, it would be pure selfishness. Are the candy and cheeseburgers worth leaving my children without their mother? NO.

Our scale is spazzing out so I'm not going to be weighing in super soon, but I know that I am at my fattest ever. It's easy to get too busy to care about myself. But I need to prioritize because being the healthiest I can be is more important than so many other tasks I invest my time in. Anyway, I am going to spend some time with my sweetheart before we have to sleep. I will try to update frequently but Lexi has made sitting at the computer very difficult...