Surgical History

I'm filling out paperwork for a physical (for my new job!) and everytime I have to give my surgical history, it takes research because I don't remember all the details. So I am going to list them here all in one post.

C-section: 7/2004
C-section: 1/2006
C-section: 10/2010
Endometiral Ablation: 7/2011
Hysterospcopy with Lysis of Adhesions: 5/2012
Hysterectomy: 8/2013
Breast Augmentation and abdominoplasty: 7/2014

I'll update this later with details.

Before, After, and Biggest Loser Results

No clue how much I weighed here (this is seriously embarrassing to post...) By the way, this was TWO YEARS after my last baby was born so the baby weight excuse is not even valid.

And some more recent pictures (I totally need to take brand new ones that show my most recent weight):

So, I won Biggest Loser! The competition was stiff at the end but I'm super competitive so I starved for a day at the end. ;) I got down to 151 which was surely the result of dehydration since by the end of weigh in day I was back to 151.6 and by the next day I was even more (after pigging OUT for two days, heh). At this point the goal is to maintain and to force myself to work out to keep my abs and arms nice. (But I'm TIRED lately!) Anyway, in my next post I'll post some videos and exercises that worked for me during Biggest Loser. Gonna go be LAZY right now. 

Winning!

Still winning Biggest Loser (by a hair!) The underdogs are catching up as I am plateauing. Plus I've been all lethargic and HUNGRY. I think it's stress related (even though I really don't get very stressed).

So, I have lost 14 lbs in the last 5 weeks which was 8.33% of my body weight. The coolest part has been going down a size in clothes. (That was actually just a total lie, the coolest part is the compliments.) I'm planning on maintaining weight after the competition is over, but I REALLY, REALLY want to gorge on everything chocolate so it will be tough.

Here is a selfie of me on Friday in a new outfit (I totally LOVE my red shoes.)

I had posted on Facebook recently that since beginning this competition, I have lost an inch in my stomach, 2 inches from my hips, and gained 0.8" in my boobs (!?) I'm thrilled and I will say that it has been a result of mild weight training, but I will save the actual secrets for the end of the competition, hehe. Speaking of which, final weigh in is on Friday!

So, at the moment I totally don't login to myfitnesspal frequently, but, if any of you all (all 2 of you) want to friend me on there, my username is cmholsonbake.

I'm going to update my weight on my sidebar right now too, I think.

Biggest Loser and Boobs Again

Here is a picture I took yesterday. Ignore my dirty mirror, please. Ignore the lack of makeup and whatnot too, okay? I put on these workout clothes so I could practice some belly dancing with random Youtube videos... HA! I looked totally ridiculous (though Devonn says it was hot, such a sweet liar). Anyway, I noticed that I looked alright so I took a selfie to send Devonn. So, this is me currently. My profile is always better than straight on because I seem to have a bit of a square shape.

So, I am currently participating in a Biggest Loser competition that I orchestrated at work. I am in second place but I have plateaued and the dude ahead of me just keeps SHEDDING the lbs... punk. My weight bounced around in the 160s for a while but I am now in the upper end of the 150s. I am pretty happy with my body so I think I'll get to the low 150s and work on toning up and maintaining. I know that I would probably look cute at 135 or something but I am happy now...

My last post indicated that I had a mommy makeover and I seem to have lost a couple blogging buddies over it??? This makes me sad on a few levels. One being that I have what is probably an unhealthy need to be liked by everyone. Another being that I genuinely like these people and another being frustration that people are so judgmental/mean. I was pregnant three times, delivering by c-section each time. I have zero skin elasticity (a mild scratch results in a scar)... pregnancy just literally ripped by skin apart. My doctor during my first pregnancy told me that I had the worst case of stretch marks he had seen in his entire career (comforting). I lost a significant amount of weight, 31.94% of my body weight at my most recent lowest. In order to exercise at all, I had to wear Spanx. The weight and weird hormonal issues I have contended with resulted in a tiny little deformed boob and an extremely tiny little deformed boob. My cup sizes were seriously different and my pant size was huge due to the excess skin. So you know what? I had a mommy makeover and it was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself (besides completing my bachelor's degree). So that is the last time I will ever explain or justify my surgery decision.

For those of you who may be interested in plastic surgery... my results are fabulous (most especially in comparison with my before pictures). Plastic surgery didn't give me the porn star look, I still don't have a ton of cleavage. I have full natural looking boobs that fill out a bra and a shirt properly. I have a freaking flat stomach and he repaired my abs that were displaced by pregnancy so you can kinda see my muscles and I FEEL totally strong. Best part... my pants fit and I will NEVER have to wear Spanx again. I walk around in normal fitting clothes and I don't have to suck in... I can actually breathe! Recovery was quick (2 weeks and I was back to work) It was expensive because I had the best plastic surgeon in Kern County so I did finance part of that mess for a couple years. I am currently 5 months post-op and supposedly my results will get better and better. If any of you have any questions whatsoever, I would love to answer them.

I thought about posting before and after pictures but this is a public blog, though it is not searchable by databases. Anyway, I go back to work tomorrow after a vacation so I should sleep. For the 1 or maybe 2 (or less) of you that still read this, thanks for being my buddies! ♥

I Got Boobs

So... I got boobs. How's that for the topic of my first post in forever!?

But it's true. In late July I had a tummy tuck and breast augmentation and I FREAKING love it. The boobs haven't completely "dropped" and may require a revision surgery in the future but I still love them. And the tummy tuck? Best decision EVER. I can run without tons of skin and some extra fat painfully flapping. It is seriously crazy.

As is pretty common and crappy, I have gained a little weight since the surgery. I'm in the low-mid 160's so I have gained 5+ lbs since then. My goal is somewhere in the 150's and then maintaining.

I would post before and after pictures but a certain lovely husband of mine won't honor my request to find and send me the before pictures.

Update

I suppose I should update since I haven't in FOREVER. Lately I have been bouncing around between 152 and 155, usually staying right around 153 lbs. I'm hoping to get to 145 lbs and then stay there. :) I have a gym membership which I try to utilize 3x/week but there was a solid 3 weeks in which I didn't go at all... I really need to work on some good eating habits. Namely, eating breakfast, NOT going out for lunch, and cutting out sweets... easier said than done though. Anyway, that's that. :)

Yay!

I stopped recording my weight for a little while and I had a kind of traumatic hysterectomy on August 15th (I'm two weeks post-op) so I haven't even been concerned with my weight at all, really. Nevertheless, I am 171.4! This means that I am 12.4 lbs away from a healthy BMI. I have lost 35 lbs since I re-started and 53.2 since my highest weight ever... yay!! You can't tell by looking at me (I'm still FAT looking), but it's all good. I'll tone up once I'm healed.

I have not restarted Spironolactone (which I NEED) or Metformin yet... I'm planning on doing that soon. I'm having bowel issues and concerned that there might be some scar tissue affecting my intestines, but I started taking some fiber so we'll see...

School is starting in September and there is a possible new job on the horizon, so wish me luck with continued success!

Plateau Busted

If you happen to look over at my most recent weight, I noted "I think" on it. I weighed in at 6:30 in the morning but in my rush to get ready for school, I didn't record it right away. I sent Devonn a text later in the morning telling him my weight (185.2) so that was probably it, but I could be a bit mistaken. I do know that it was 185 something. Since I restarted this lifestyle change and abandoned my unhealthy habits, I have lost 10.27% of my body weight. From my highest weight ever recorded, 224.8 (oh my stinking heck that was heavy... how did that even happen!?), I have lost 17.62% of my body weight. I am pretty happy. I don't know why I plateaued for a week previously but it definitely wasn't from consuming too many calories. It could have been from consuming too few (starvation mode), it could have been hormonal (my period tries to start then even though it's mid-cycle on my hormones), or any number of things. All I know is that I was thrilled with a 4 pound weight loss this week. That means I didn't lose any progress at all.

Devonn has been dieting and exercising for a couple weeks as well. In fact, we decided to do a little weekly competition. Whoever loses the biggest percentage of weight each week is the winner- the loser has to fold a bunch of laundry. ;) I have to admit that I'm a little worried because all he has to do to lose weight is fast a bit the evening before the weigh in and he loses several lbs. Oh that's another thing that could have contributed to my weight loss- Devonn and I fasted Saturday-Sunday (because he has a job interview coming up and we want to ace it) so I was probably still mildly dehydrated this morning when I weighed in.

In terms of my energy, I still have very little. I know that although I am eating way better, I am not getting the vitamins and nutrients I need- I am going to work on that this week. I also attribute the lack of energy to being completely swamped in school deadlines (6 week summer quarters bite), so I'm kind of just mentally exhausted, and then I probably could go to bed just a bit earlier. Oh and exercise- I walk 4 days a week but not strenuously. And maybe the heat too? It really makes me tired.

A couple fun things: I have lost 21.2 lbs since I restarted. I only have 26.2 lbs to lose to get to my initial goal of a healthy BMI (159 lbs). That is so doable! I have kind of decided that if I get to 145-ish and sustain it for a long time, I might explore plastic surgery options. I have hanging, gross skin on my belly (big time) someday maybe I'll post a picture? It makes me wear like 2 pant sizes bigger than I would and makes it very difficult to get clothes that fit appropriately. I just can't wait to go to the store and shop straight off the rack without spending hours in the dressing room agonizing over whether I should use Spanx or just get something baggy, etc. Of course I am going to strengthen my core as much as humanly possible between now and then to see what difference I can make (Although I know I will always have this skin because it has lost all of its elasticity and been damaged beyond repair due to babies and the ensuing stretch marks. Plus the c-section scar that everything hangs over). And then there is also the fact that I have one boob that is WAY smaller than the other. No joke. Like a couple cup sizes. As I lose weight it's getting worse... And on that note, time to do some homework, fix lunch, clean, grocery shop, etc.

Surgery...

First, my weight... I have completely plateaued at 189.2. I stopped taking my Metformin even though I wasn't supposed to. I will probably start taking it again soon? I really don't know... I'm torn because I can eat and not be sick and miserable when I'm off it. But, I also get cysts when I'm off... Either way, I am going to focus on eating 1200 calories per day this week and drinking all the water I need to. I have no idea how being on Metformin vs not affects my weight... Maybe I'll try this week without it and if I have a good enough weight loss (and no cyst symptoms) I'll stay off... UPDATE: I'm going to start taking it again. In fact, I took one today. I might start with one a day (Dr. said that was fine) and then work my way up to two... It helps with the way I respond to insulin and keeps cysts and other symptoms at bay and helps me lose weight... When I'm eating enough anyway. I just hope I get used to the side effects soon. 

Anyway, I had an appointment last week with my reproductive endocrinologist... the cysts were GONE from both ovaries. He was thrilled with how much weight I had lost as well. He got the surgery notes from Dr. Owens last time where my uterus was totally adhered to my abdomen, etc and he said that is likely a large culprit as far as the pain was concerned... So, I am scheduled for a hysterectomy (uterus only) on August 15th. He is a very skilled surgeon but there is still a chance that he will have to do another bikini line cut and there is a chance of puncturing my bladder, etc. But, I'm not super concerned.

I will probably be posting many more details as time progresses.

Weekly Update

Howdy y'all. Today I was 3.8 lbs lighter than last week. I am 190.6 lbs. I am thrilled with this; however, I have a feeling it is because I am quite dehydrated. I spent the whole night Friday night and part of Saturday morning running back and forth to and from the pit toilet (just imagine- pitch blackness, bugs, rodents, and SMELLY and dirty!) at our camping site because I was SICK. It was miserable. I should be adjusting to the Metformin any day now... I think part of my problem is that I haven't been consistently taking two doses every day... some days, when I can't eat a big enough meal I wait until the afternoon to take it and then I skip the evening dose. So then the next day when I take two, it makes me sick... As for the weekend, it could be that the meat Devonn prepared for dinner was too fatty. Today, I woke up feeling a bit sick and I have a presentation today so I either need to get it out of my system RIGHT NOW or it needs to just pass.

Since I'm sure it's dehydration/water weight and because I seem to be plateauing on a day to day basis, I'm not expecting much weight loss next week...I should also mention that I still can't eat nearly 1,200 calories, it's ridiculous.

Anyway, If I do continue to lose 2 lbs per week, I will be about 175 at the end of summer school!! And if I continued to lose 2 lbs per week beyond that, by the beginning of the Fall quarter I would be 162. And beyond that, I would be 143 at the end of the Fall quarter when I am done at CSUB. Woo-hoo!! 143 lbs is well into my healthy weight. Since I am sort of anticipating some plateauing and struggle, I won't beat myself up if I don't achieve those milestones. Plus, I have lost way more than 2lbs each week so far, so I'm already ahead of my initial goals. :)

Anyway, time to go practice for this presentation and get the munchkins ready.

PS- I am no longer considered obese, I am now overweight. :)

Another Week Down

I weighed in this morning and was 5.4 lbs lighter than last week. :) A couple days ago, however, I was around 191...(today's was 194.4) that light weight could have been a fluke, it could have been that I was severely dehydrated from all the intestinal issues, or it could be that only being able to eat around 600 calories a day is finally taking its toll and I'm holding on to all the weight I can...who knows.

All I know is that I am going to keep trying my very best to eat small meals throughout the day, try to eat 1200 calories, and try to drink all the water that I need.

This week is killer busy- I have a huge paper to write, a presentation to prepare, finals to study for, a church talk to write (and give, wah!!), a family camping trip to prepare for, etc. The most stressful part is that with the camping trip being all up in the middle of it all, I won't have enough time to prepare at all for either the talk or the presentation. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Oh yeah, I also have my follow up with my RE on Friday. I don't know what to tell him. My cramping has alleviated some but I think that's due in large part to lifestyle change... I don't want him to assume it was the antibiotics and now I'm fine... It seems to be worse after physical activity (of all sorts) so I guess I'll tell him that...

PS- My house is filthy- falling down around me filthy. I have either been too sick or too busy with other pressing priorities to clean it. I kept hoping I would get some sympathy (ie- some more help, but nope). To be fair, Devonn has been quite busy as well...

PPS- 1.5 weeks until the very end of the quarter... I should easily be in the low- 190s by then. Can't wait until I'm at a healthy weight (150s or so) so I can stop taking the Metformin, etc. but slow and steady wins the race!

Metformin

Metformin is a stupid, evil drug. I feel so icky on it. Luckily I haven't barfed yet but I certainly feel as though I might any second. I have had diarrhea though...a lot (I'm just keeping it real here).

On the upside, I've lost a lot of weight in the past two days... It's all dehydration though.

On the downside, I have zero appetite plus nausea and in order to take the dumb Metformin again I have to eat something. (Something low in carbs, high in protein). Another downside, I just feel like lying in bed, sipping some water, and resting, but I have to go to school. Can't miss my Monday/Wednesday class or I'll be totally lost. And I have to care for Little Miss, including feeding her even though the smell of food is disgusting right now (guess who is getting cereal for breakfast?)

Supposedly my body will adjust to this soon and then I won't feel this way (unless I eat something totally crappy-which Devonn's chicken quesadilla's were probably the poorest thing I could have consumed last night...)

Anyway, Lexi awaits (and not patiently).

Onderland, again.

I have lost 6.6lbs in two weeks, from cutting out junk and drinking more water. I have been trying to stick to a strict diet of fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. I have reduced my carbs quite a bit and have pretty much cut out all sweets. (I did have a tiny spoon full of Nutella last night and it was marvelous and satisfying.) I have basically cut out soda but every couple days I'll have about half of one.

I took my first dose of Metformin today and so far so good. Yay! I am taking it with a larger meal, and being sure not to overeat, or eat tons of carbs/sugar while I'm on it because I don't want to experience the side effects. I have also been taking Spironolactone which can have bad side effects as well, but so far I haven't experienced any (other than more frequently urinating- good to know, huh?).

Because of the new dietary changes, I am finding it hard to eat 1200 calories- fruits, vegetables, and lean meats just aren't that high in calories... I am going to have to remedy this to avoid a plateau.

So anyway, I'm barely under the 200 mark... 199.8, but it still feels nice, especially considering I have barely started trying again... My goal is still 2lbs a week. I have 2.5  weeks until the end of the quarter so I will be around 195 or less (hopefully less ;) at that point. My next quarter starts in 4 weeks so I'll be in the low- 190's at that point. :)

Anyway, time to go hang out with a sweet little lady I know. :)

Diet and Exercise

Most of you read my family blog so you know all about my PCOS and other issues. To really reduce the PCOS symptoms (which at this point I am really tired of the hirsutism, pain, and especially the acne), I need to combine diet and exercise along with my medication...

In terms of the exercise, it is difficult to find time around school AND family, but I can and will do it. I'm going to begin with swimming, walking, and the stationary bike (if I can get Devonn to get it from storage). Maybe bike riding sometimes too (except my bike is the "magna" I had when I was 12 and I'm way too huge for it so we'll see...)

The diet is what is going to be difficult for me... I am supposed to eat low carbs, high protein, no sugar. I am ALWAYS in a hurry and there is not enough time in the day to prepare meals as it is, so this will be a tough task. Plus there is the money aspect- we're broke always. Our grocery budget is $500/month to feed a family of 5 three meals per day (plus snacks). And healthy food REALLY is more expensive than processed food. And the really difficult part, is that I just don't know what to make for every meal and snack and what to eat without getting burned out after a short while. I plan on looking up some cheaper recipes but, again, there is the time aspect...

Anyway, lest you think this is just a complaining post, let me assure you all that I am excited to lose weight and get this all under control. I just can't post more because a little lady I know is waking up.

PS- I start Metformin on Monday and I'm scared! I really don't have time for its side effects. Plus, if they occur while I'm at school... embarrassing!

Fatter Than Ever

I am fatter than ever and it's gross and crazy and ridiculous. I can literally see my mid-section getting HUGER. And the number on the scale is creeping up. I have been parking really far away from all of my classes, carrying extra weight in my backpack, walking briskly everywhere, taking stairs only, eating less than before, etc. I should be maintaining not gaining. But, I do recognize all the bad habits that I am guilty of. And I know that they are primarily to blame.

I would love to sit here and say that all this weight gain is due to PCOS and the crappy birth control I am on, but when I am honest with myself, I know this isn't the case. I do get to see a reproductive endocrinologist on Friday the 17th- he comes HIGHLY recommended so I'm hoping he can figure out what the heck is wrong with me. In addition to the FATNESS that is in my control, the hormonal acne and facial hair are not (although diet and exercise would help, I know) and they are terrible and embarrassing to live with.

Anyway, although I have very, very little time, I am going to weigh in on Monday and start focusing on losing some weight and getting more fit. I am going to use my school quarters/milestones as goal points. This quarter ends in about 4 weeks so I want to see how much I can lose by then. My summer quarter starts in 6 weeks, we'll see how much I can lose by then. My summer quarter ends in 12 weeks... Fall starts in 18 weeks and ends in 28 weeks. Fall is a big one because it will be my last quarter and I don't want to be a total fatty when I say goodbye to all my professors and friends. In 28 weeks, even with only losing 1 lb a week (cause although I'm gung-ho now, I know that in the midst of testing and writing papers, I will not be), I will be 28 lbs lighter. 28 lbs lighter will have me feeling good and looking pretty great...

By graduation (not for another year which is LAME), I should be at a great healthy weight and level of fitness. I can only imagine walking across the stage as hot as can be. ;) I would be celebrating two huge milestones.

Anyway, look for my updated weight on Monday. :/

Baby Steps

I have decided that I'm okay taking baby steps for now. I am eating okay (though I did slip up a bit and had a HEAVENLY chocolate milk shake yesterday, all things in moderation, right?) So anyway, healthier eating is baby step one. Baby step two: I have been on a way more normal sleeping schedule. Baby step three: I am drinking a lot more water, though I need to drink MORE.

On Monday, my professor for my Sociological Research Methods course (way more fun than it sounds; though, fun is relative) approached me in lab and told me that the TA told him that my annotated bibliography (for the research project I'm designing) was just outstanding. He asked me for permission to use it as an example for his future courses. It felt so great! Because I am an over-achiever in school (though I really try not to be sometimes), experiences like this are kind of common. The point I am trying to make isn't that I'm awesome... really, I'm not trying to be braggy at all... it's just, I do really well in school because it is what I devote my time to. My kids are happy, healthy, and rocking in school because they are what my time is devoted to. My house is livable because I devote some of my time to it... (not as much as school or the kids, it could be spotless and pristine). My marriage is happy and ridiculously fun because it is what Devonn and I devote our time to. My church class is fun every week and full of spiritual experiences because I devote my time to those kids (and because they are a GREAT group of kids. They seriously amaze me.) Anyway, you all get the point... I am okay not exercising as frequently as I should because of all of these other time consuming and FULFILLING things going on.

That being said, I'm taking small opportunities to get a tiny bit more exercise in throughout the day (baby steps again). I'm power walking (without looking like a dummy) across campus, I'm taking stairs, parking farther away, racing the clean up clock...

Anyway, Lexi is just begging me to squish her cheeks right now, so I must seize the moment.

Surgery Canceled, etc.

As always, I only have a few minutes before I have to get my littlest munchkin ready and head out for school. Midterm today, wish me luck! 

I canceled my hysterectomy. I am going to see if I can diet and exercise these problems out of me. At this point, we really don't know what's causing my pain and bleeding... could be a mix of PCOS and scar tissue. I have had a tubal and about a billion other surgeries to help my symptoms, so there are no more babies in our future. I'm not hesitant about the hysterectomy because I want more babies, I just hate surgeries and if they're unnecessary then I hate them more. I am on hormones to try to help suppress my symptoms while I achieve a healthy lifestyle.

If the hormones don't work well within 4-6 months, I think I'll try to have Metformin prescribed for me but I really don't know yet.

Eating healthy has been okay, but finding the time to exercise while in school on the dreaded quarter system (while writing papers, taking midterms, etc), while still keeping the house going has been all but impossible. I know so many of you have achieved great fitness milestones and say "don't make excuses, blah, blah, blah" but until you have raised three children and taken 15+ units, while volunteering in various capacities, and making time for your husband, don't judge ;)

In terms of diet, I am trying to stick to a low carb, high protein diet. No caffeine, no added or artificial sugar. Eating breakfast daily, drinking lots of water, etc. And I'm trying to stay around 1200 calories but I'm not going to beat myself up over 1300 calories or anything.

Today I have cramps... BAD. I wish I knew WHY; Alas, I don't, so I think I'll have to take some Tylenol and hope it helps... 

Anyway, time to grab a snack and get ready. Kinda nervous... this midterm is 25% of my grade. :/

Check It

I have to leave the house in 5 minutes but really quick....

I am concerned that PCOS is causing the lion's share of my symptoms. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but at this point, I am STRONGLY considering postponing the surgery in favor of hormones and lifestyle change...

I'll update soon.

Surgery

Surgery is tentatively scheduled for the 19th of March. It conflicted with one final but my professor said we could reschedule it without a problem. That will give me two weeks to recover instead of the recommended 4-6, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Anyway, we all are or have been in various stages of different illnesses this week so things have been crazy and I have only gone to school once... yikes! I am a bit behind so time to update my family blog and get to work!

The Updates

Although I decided to take control a few days ago and really get the ball rolling, I did crappy anyway... so sad.

As of today, Devonn decided to jump on the bandwagon too, yay! It is so much easier when your spouse is in the trenches with you! It sucks that we can't workout together (stinking kids...) but it's awesome that we can support each other.

So, my uterus is still jacked. I ended up canceling my last appointment which was dumb. My next appointment is December 20th. I think he'll probably schedule the surgery at that point... only problem is that I cannot miss any school and recovery will take AT LEAST 2 weeks (though they tell you six)... so scheduling it will be difficult unless he can get me in SUPER fast. My uterus is currently stuck to other organs with scar tissue so any brisk movement causes it to pull and tug (and possibly rip?) and bleed... it's a mess and it makes exercising dangerous... Doesn't mean I won't do it... just means I'll suffer a bit and that I'll have to be careful not to overdo it. The crappy internal organ situation means that my diet is SUPER important to my weight loss/fitness goals.

In terms of school, once that starts, things will get CRAZY. So I will have to have extra dance parties with Lexi in the early mornings and maybe some race-the-clock/marathon cleaning sprees to get my heart rate pumping. Because my time will be filled to the brim with school, homework, commuting, chores/mommy stuff, and because I do still want to connect with the kids and show them some undivided attention, I will just have to be creative with my workouts. :)

But anyway, onward!